again. “Please? I’ve got more ideas for her social media I need to tell her too.”
Reluctantly, he reached over and grabbed his phone again. Maybe it was fate, this invitation. Certainly seemed that way, given how Ashley was all but begging to see Tara again.
“Daddy?”
“Yes, kiddo?”
“Why do you work so much?” she asked him. “You always seem too busy for me.” The simple, direct statement sliced him to the bone.
He swallowed hard and scooted her around again so he could see her face. “I’m sorry, honey. I work a lot so that we can have a nice life and afford all the things you need.”
“But I need more time with you.” Ashley kept her eyes lowered and gave a small shrug that broke his heart. Damn. He’d been staying busy, thinking that was the way to a better future, but maybe he’d gotten that wrong. Just like he’d gotten so many other things wrong over the past couple of weeks. “I want you to watch me ride my bike. I want you to read to me before bed. I want you to play dolls with me and help me compost and color and do all the stuff other kids in my class do with their dads.”
So much for keeping a lid on his emotions now. Guilt welled up inside him, making him feel worse than he already did about the situation. Things had been easier when Tara had been around. He’d come to depend on her in more ways than he’d realized. Tara had become that partner, that friend, he'd been looking for and he’d just thrown it all away.
The fact Ashley sounded so matter-of-fact about it all only hurt worse.
He’d been neglecting his daughter. He’d been trying to give them a better life and in the process he’d done just the opposite. He’d walked away from the best shot at happiness for both of them.
“Let me show you something,” he said, clicking on his phone and showing Ashley the text from Tara on the screen. “She invited you over to help her plant a butterfly garden later. Do you want to go?”
Ashley squealed and clapped. “Yes, Daddy! Please, can I go?”
Days ago, his reaction would have been no. It would be too messy and too complicated and too risky, considering his feelings for Tara. But now, how could he deny his baby girl this chance at joy?
How can I deny myself?
That thought brought him up short. His pulse raced and sweat prickled the back of his neck. Tara had given him joy. Joy and love and happiness. And now it was like the sun had gone out without her. He loved Tara Crumb. Loved her with every fibre of his being, and damn if he wasn’t going to try and win her back. He wanted to have the chance to prove his love to her every single day for the rest of their lives.
She’d invited Ashley over, not him. Tara had to know he’d be dropping her off, though, right? It wasn’t like she’d told him to stay away. Maybe if he was there, they could have a chance to talk and work out some of the issues between them. If nothing else, it might give him a chance to apologize and beg for her forgiveness.
He found himself grinning just like Ashley as he nodded. “Yep, you can definitely go. Let me just text her back.”
Clint typed out the word and stopped, his thumb hovering over the send button. It was just a simple text response, but it felt momentous, like a turning point or another threshold he was crossing. Once he clicked, he’d be putting himself out there, putting his heart and his emotions on the line.
Was he ready for it? Not really. Was it necessary? Absolutely.
Tara had helped him realize that too. She’d helped him in more ways than he could count, and now it was payback time.
“All right, kiddo,” he said, putting Ashley down and standing. “Go clean up your toys and we’ll get going.”
It was still early, but if Clint wanted to make a good impression tonight and show Tara that he’d really changed, he had some preparing to do.
Twenty minutes later, they were walking out the front entrance just as Noah and Levon were walking back in. The guys stepped aside and held the door for him and Ashley as they headed out into the parking lot.
“Where you headed to this early on a Friday afternoon?” Noah said, shielding his eyes from the sun