house.”
“Going to?” Danny said.
“People would get into a lot less trouble if they acted as if anything they say or do or anywhere they go is being recorded somewhere and might be used against them,” Wesley said, unperturbed by the comments. He’s swept the condo for any kind of bug or camera. He’d piggybacked into the building’s video surveillance the first day Davis had moved in to the rental. There would be no record of us visiting the building.
“Do you think this is enough food?” Ridge asked. To my surprise, he’d volunteered to cook. It seemed tuna casserole had been Breck’s favorite growing up and since the twins had been on their own most of the time and money was tight, he’d learned to cook several different versions of it.
“Enough for me,” Breck said, peering over his brother’s shoulder. “I don’t know what anyone else is going to eat.”
“I made two,” he said.
“And there’s salad, and cake for desert. It will be fine, babe,” Davis said giving Ridge a kiss. “I’m really impressed.”
“My mom is going to be impressed,” I said. “I’ve never cooked anything for her.”
“Can you cook?” Steele asked me.
“I can. I can keep myself alive and follow basic recipes, but I don’t do it too often. I figure that’s why we have restaurants.”
“I bet Leo’s a good cook,” Danny said.
“I am,” Leo admitted. “I like cooking. It’s very satisfying. Even better cooking for other people.”
“I would kill for a homemade meal,” Danny said.
Ridge waved his potholder-clad hands in the air. “What do you think this is?”
“Oh yeah. God, I’m starving. When are your parents getting here?” Danny asked me.
“Any minute,” I said. “And it’s my mom and Bob. Bob is not my father, step or otherwise.”
Danny, being the wise young man that he was, let that lie.
Soon enough, Eric showed up with Bob, Sammy, and my mother. Not giving them the address was a small security measure, but the less information they had, the better. I hoped they weren’t the suspicious type who took note of directions and addresses as a matter of course.
“Boys,” my mother said with a look at me as I took her coat and kissed her cheek. “I didn’t expect to see you here.”
“That’s one of the things we need to talk about,” I said.
“Hello, Bob,” I said politely, as if this wasn’t the first time we’d been in the same room in fifteen years.
Bob nodded hello, and handed me a six pack of local beer. He looked a little overwhelmed by all the people. “I didn’t know there’d be so many people here,” he said. “Eric, if you’ll loan me the car, I’ll go get some more.”
Eric put his hand on his father’s back and led him into the room. “Not necessary, Dad.”
As Eric introduced a very confused Bob to the crew, I studied him. Of all the people and places I’d seen since returning, he’d changed the most. In my mind, he was a hard-faced man, silent and judgmental. As a child, I’d been equally scared of and fascinated by him. Fathers were a strange thing to me. I didn’t have one. Eric did, but he seemed only peripherally important to everyday life. He wasn’t around the way Bitty had been. He made appearances on weekends and holidays. He’d ruled the grill, and at the ice rink, he was big and loud with the other fathers.
As a teen, I’d thought him small-minded and provincial, lacking imagination, and the epitome of what was wrong with suburbia and straight white men in general.
When I’d run away from my life as Jake Karlsson and reinvented myself as Carson Grieves, he’d become the homophobic villain of my origin story.
Looking at him now, I saw he was just a man. Taller and wider than I was, but many men were. In his mid-fifties, blond hair receding from a forehead lined with years of grief and the stress of life. He was closer to Leo’s age than to mine, I realized with a shock. I could picture Eric looking not much different than that in twenty-five years.
It was unsettling.
Bob looked at me, studying me as if he was searching for something while I studied him. I had no idea what he was looking for or what he saw. I had armored up for this dinner in a three-piece suit, newly purchased with Davis’ fashion advice and money.
“Good to see you again, Jake.” He looked back at my mother and she nodded.
Be nice, she mouthed at me when