No response formed in my mind. He was correct. I had encouraged Mr. Northam.
“He relayed to me all that transpired at the Hickmores’ after I left,” Gregory said.
“You mean after you walked out in the middle of my performance, humiliating me.” My rebuke rang around the room.
“I am sorry for that.”
“Why did you do it?”
“I needed to leave.”
“And your departure could not have waited a few minutes more?”
He didn’t reply.
With a huff, I turned and walked into the alcove.
His footsteps quietly followed me.
This ballroom felt so different from the Hickmores’. There, if Mr. Northam had asked me to marry him, I would have said yes. I would have even danced with him.
But I didn’t want him to ask me now. And it wasn’t him I wished to dance with now, either. “Did your cousin relay to you that he offered to teach me to waltz?”
Gregory stirred and took a step forward. “And you accepted?”
“No, I—” I stopped. Taking a deep breath, I stepped up to him. His expression was easier to see up close. “Would you teach me?” I whispered.
I held my breath, waiting for an answer, and took in as many of his features as the dim light would allow. His hair that curled when wet, his handsome face, so open when he genuinely smiled, his eyes that expressed so much of his emotion. He was strong and ethical and good. My lungs burned in my chest. Still I didn’t breathe. But not a muscle moved in his face, nor anywhere in his body.
I exhaled. That was my answer then. “I will prevail upon someone else to teach me. Excuse me, Lord Williams.” I stepped around him.
His hand grabbed mine. Startled, I spun back around.
“Margaret,” he whispered, suddenly close. His hand rose again, this time without hesitation, and cupped my face, his thumb gently tracing my cheek. I tilted my head into his touch. This was all that I had ever wanted. The gentle touch, the whisper of my name from a man I adored.
He leaned forward, his breath warm on my cheek. “I can’t. It wouldn’t be proper.”
Of course it wouldn’t be proper. I’d been caught up in the moment, caught up in the way I wanted to be with him, with only him. And unlike his cousin, he was too honorable to risk a scandal.
“Unless. . . . ” he said, shifting closer, his other hand rising to cup my face.
“Unless?” I asked, my voice barely audible, hope tinged with trepidation swelling within me.
His forehead came to rest against mine. “Margaret, choose me.” The raw emotion in his plea tore at me.
He still wanted me. He still cared for me. The appearance of his cousin hadn’t changed that.
My elation was dampened only by my own questions. Could I do it? Could I choose him and break my promise? This man was better than any I had ever known. My father and Daniel both wanted me to marry him. Louisa and my mother would congratulate me. Even Alice would have welcomed him as a brother if I had not been so against him.
Gregory could not offer me safety. Not as long as I cared for him. But I loved him. Did that not count for something?
Slipping my hand up his neck and into his hair, I finally touched that lock that curled above his ear. His breath hitched and he pulled away ever so slightly. His eyes, full of desire, searched mine.
I wanted to be with him. I couldn’t deny it. My mind screamed in protest, warning me of danger, but I no longer wished to deny that Gregory was who I wanted.
His gaze dropped to my lips. I swallowed, anticipation building in my chest. He leaned closer. His breath brushed my mouth, making my lips tingle. His head tilted. I closed my eyes.
“Thank you for informing me of this,” my father said, his voice suddenly sounding just outside the door.
I tore away from Gregory and stumbled back a few steps, my heart pounding in my chest, my breath agonizingly loud as I focused on the hall outside the door and watched as my father strode past. I couldn’t be caught alone with Gregory. What would my father think?
But then I realized what I’d done and my gaze shifted back to Gregory. What did it matter if I was caught? Hadn’t I just determined that Gregory was the person I wanted to be with, and hadn’t he revealed as much to me?