about you, Frankie? Do you think you could get behind it?"
I shrugged. "Whatever."
She embraced me, and I staggered.
"Okay, guys, we're on!" she called, bounding across the commons. "Trixie, back to work on the cherry blossoms. Jocelyn, tell the Paper Affair lady we need a hundred blue streamers and don't take no for an answer!"
On the afternoon of the dance, two hours before Jeremy was due to pick up Yun Sun, I crammed my stuff in my duffel bag and told her I was going home.
"What?" she said. "No!" She put down a hot roller. Her makeup lay in front of her on her vanity, her Babycakes body glitter and Dewberry lip gloss, and her dress hung over the hook of her open bathroom door. It was lilac, with a sweetheart neckline. It was gorgeous.
"It's time," I said. "Thank you for letting me stay so long... but it's time."
Her mouth turned down. She wanted to argue, but she knew it was true. I wasn't happy here. That in itself wasn't the issue-I wasn't going to be happy anywhere-but moping around the Komikos' house was making me feel trapped and making Yun Sun feel helpless and guilty.
"But it's prom," Yun Sun said. "Won't that be weird, being alone in your house on the night of prom?" She came over to me. "Stay till tomorrow. I'll be quiet when I come in, I swear. And I promise not to go on and on about... you know. The after-parties and who hooked up and who passed out in the girls' bathroom."
"You should get to go on about that stuff, though," I said. "You should stay out as late as you want and come in as loudly as you want and be giddy and spazzy and all that." Unexpectedly, my eyes filled with tears. "You should, Yun Sun."
She touched my arm. I pulled away, but in what I hoped was an unobvious manner.
"So should you, Frankie," she said.
"Yeah... well." I heaved my bag over my shoulder.
"Call me any time," she said. "I'll keep my cell on, even at the dance."
"Okay."
"And if you change your mind, if you decide you want to stay-"
"Thanks."
"Or even if you decide to come to prom! We all want you there-you know that, right? It doesn't matter that you don't have a date."
I winced. She didn't mean it the way it sounded, but it most certainly did matter that I didn't have a date, because that date would have been Will. And I didn't have him not because he liked another girl or was suffering from a terrible case of the flu, but because he was dead. Because of me.
"Oh God," Yun Sun said. "Frankie..."
I waved her off. I didn't want any more touching. "It's all right."
We stood in a bubble of awkwardness.
"I miss him, too, you know," she said. I nodded. Then I left.
I returned to my empty house to find that the electricity was out. Perfect. This happened more often than it should have: Afternoon thunderstorms threw tree branches into the transformers, and entire neighborhoods lost power for several hours. Or the power would go out for no reason. Maybe too many people had their air conditioners on and the circuits overloaded, that was my theory. Will's theory was ghosts, ha ha ha. "They've come to spoil your milk," he'd say in a spooky voice.
Will.
My throat tightened.
I tried not to think about him, but it was impossible, so I let him exist there with me in my mind. I fixed myself a peanut butter sandwich, which I didn't eat. I went upstairs and lay on my bed without turning down the covers. Shadows deepened. An owl hooted. I stared at my ceiling until I could no longer make out the spider-web cracks.
In the dark, my thoughts went places they shouldn't. Fernando. Madame Zanzibar. You're just like all the rest, aren't you? Desperate for a heart-stopping romance?
It was that very desperation that gave birth to my stupid Madame Zanzibar plan and even stupider wish. That's what prodded Will into action. If only I'd never taken the damn corsage!
I bolted upright. Oh my God-the damn corsage!
I grabbed my cell and held down the "three," Yun Sun's speed dial. ?One? was for Mom and Dad; ?two? was for Will. I still hadn't deleted his name, and now I wouldn't have to.
"Yun Sun!" I cried when she answered.
"Frankie?" she said. "S.O.S." by Rihanna blared in the background. "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine," I said. "Better than fine! I mean, the power's out, it's pitch-black,