The Program Page 0,114
can go to hell because I’m not taking the bait this time.
I stare down at my desk, pretending he didn’t ask, and open my notebook. The class drags on, and I hear someone clear their throat repeatedly from the back. At one point, I sigh heavily and turn around to see James staring at me. I roll my eyes and go back to my math problems.
My phone buzzes, and I think that I shouldn’t look. That I shouldn’t give in to his tantrums. Discreetly, while the teacher is reading aloud from the textbook about a formula I can’t quite remember, I check my phone.
YOU LOOK NICE TODAY. OH, AND I’M AN ASSHOLE. SORRY.
I press my lips together, trying not to smile. I will not let him make me smile.
NOT ACCEPTED. Way to take the high road, Sloane.
DID YOUR TONGUE SAY GOOD-BYE TO YOUR FRIEND AGAIN LAST NIGHT? I BET HE LIKED THAT.
YOU SAID YOU DIDN’T CARE. GET OVER IT.
MAYBE I’M CONCERNED ABOUT YOUR REPUTATION.
I stifle a laugh. REALLY?
NO. I’M JEALOUS.
I glance over my shoulder at him again, and meet James’s blue eyes. He shrugs, looking a bit pathetic. Like maybe he is actually sorry. I turn back around and put my phone in my pocket, trying to think things over. I know I don’t want to be with Realm, not like that. But honestly, James is a little much for me to handle, especially when he seems to like and then dislike me on a daily basis.
God, if I just had my memories, I’d understand everything so much more. I’d know what happened to my brother, to me and James. I’d know who my friends are. I’d know what happened with my parents. There’s so much that is just out of my reach, but if I could only—
The bell rings, startling me. I get up slowly, trying to decide my next move. Just then I see James walk by, a small smile on his lips as he passes. “See you around, Sloane,” he says, too quietly for anyone else to hear.
And I know from the way my body reacts that Realm was right. I loved James. But maybe we’re better off this way.
At the end of the day I wander around the halls for a bit, examining everyone as I pass them, trying to discern if I had possibly known them. I’m still getting headaches, but nothing like the one I had last night. I wonder if my brain has nearly finished repairing itself.
“Took you long enough.”
I stop a few feet from my locker to see James standing there, looking bored in the now deserted hallway. “What are you doing?” I ask.
“I’m sneaking around with you. Let’s go.” He motions toward the back door.
“Um, no. You were pretty quick to dismiss my feelings last night. Something about not pretending that things were ever good . . .”
He smiles. “I say stupid things, Sloane. All the time. But maybe the thought of not talking to you again made me crazy. Maybe I couldn’t even sleep. And maybe I’m trying to make it up to you.”
“By possibly getting me in more trouble?”
“That’s the idea.”
And I can’t help it, I laugh. The devious spark in James’s eyes makes me think that trouble from The Program is exactly what he wants. Is that what I’d liked about him before? His defiance?
“If anyone sees us together, they’re going to call my mom. And then she’ll call The Program,” I say.
“Then we should hurry up and get out of sight. You ready?”
I debate whether I want to purposely break the rules even more. Realm told me to stay alive, to stay safe. This could jeopardize both.
“You will have so much fun with me,” James whispers.
“Yeah?”
“I’ll try like hell.”
I sigh, taking one more cautious look around the hallway, and then before anyone can notice, I grab my stuff and follow James out of the school.
CHAPTER TWELVE
“SEE YOU HAVE YOUR DAD’S CAR AGAIN,” I SAY AS we drive.
“Stole it. He doesn’t like me to take it anymore. Something tells me that he never did, but he was trying to be nice after I got back from The Program.”
I twist my hands in my lap, not sure if I should bring up our past relationship. I notice as he drives that James has the string from my shirt still around his pinky. “Where are we going?” I ask.
“There’s this spot I found the other day. It’s . . . beautiful. I wanted to show someone, but, well. I don’t