over anyone you want and trash the place.”
“I’d be good,” she promises with big eyes.
“Girl, please.”
“I need privacy.” Her voice rises a little. “I don’t even know you! You could be taking me out of state to traffic me! I’ve seen Dateline!”
I notice the woman in the next seat stiffen and turn toward us, so I pitch my voice higher too. “I know you’re scared, and this will be hard, but you’ll get the treatment you need at the institution and they’ll make sure you don’t start any more fires, Kayla. We can’t bring your parents back, but we can make sure you don’t hurt anyone else.”
Kayla stares at me. I stare back. Finally, she breaks into loud laughter and I join in. This girl.
“Don’t try that again,” I warn, and she gives me a thumbs-up. Teenagers like to test boundaries. Even I know that.
“I don’t expect you to be normal,” I say more quietly. “I’d be disappointed if you were. Believe it or not, we can be friends.”
She snorts in scorn.
“I’m like you,” I say with less patience now. “That’s important.”
“We’ll see.”
I take a deep breath and remind myself that I don’t trust people either. It’s the only smart way to get through life. “Yes,” I say. “We’ll see.” I can be patient for a month or two. Probably. Maybe. She’ll learn to trust me. And then we’ll have each other.
We’re off the plane and walking into the baggage claim area when I spot him. Luke.
He’s holding two bouquets of flowers and a stupid balloon that says “Welcome Home!” What an idiot. He spots me, his worried mouth flashing into a happy grin, and I feel it. I feel it. A tiny bubble of pure joy that rises up unexpectedly in my chest.
I’m relieved he’s here. I’m happy to see him. And it’s not even about sex.
“Jane!” he calls out, as if I weren’t looking straight at him. What an adorable dork.
Rushing toward us, he hands me a bouquet of gorgeous dark-red dahlias, and if that isn’t the perfect flower for me, I don’t know what is. Kayla, on the other hand, is handed a bouquet of brightly colored gerbera daisies, and I laugh in delight at the mismatch with her mean personality. She scowls down at her gift.
“Kayla, I’m Luke. It’s so great to finally meet you.”
“Yeah.” When I narrow my eyes in warning, she tries again. “Great! Hi, Uncle Luke!”
His smile twitches the tiniest bit, but he nods. “How was the trip?”
I shift my flowers to the other hand and put my arm around Kayla. “It was Kayla’s first plane ride.”
“Exciting!” he says cheerily.
“Yeah,” she responds. “Supercool.”
I turn her slightly toward the baggage area. “Kayla, why don’t you go wait for your bag. It’s baggage claim three.”
“Whatever you want, Auntie Jane.” She smacks her gum and flip-flops off toward the crowd.
Turning back to Luke, I raise my eyebrows high. “A balloon and everything?”
“Don’t make fun of me,” he scolds, but he’s grinning past his blush.
“Never.”
“It’s so good to see you.” And then he hugs me. A huge hug, pulling me tight into his arms, and for once I don’t pull immediately away.
I like taking care of shit, and I’m good at it. I like being in complete control. But it doesn’t hurt to know that someone could take care of me if I needed it, especially because I know I won’t need it.
He loves me. And I want to keep him, so maybe I truly love him too. After all, other people can be selfish and mean and do terrible things, and that doesn’t mean they can’t feel love.
Am I so different?
“She’s kind of a handful,” I say into his chest.
“It’s okay. You’ll figure it out.” Then he pulls back and looks down at me. “We’ll figure it out. Together.”
Together. I’ve never had that. Even when my best friend was alive, we both knew that any plans made could be broken up by the arrival of the right man, whether that was a cab ride home for a quick lay or a long-term relationship arriving to mess up a lease. But Luke says we’ll figure it out together, and we will.
I was running from that when I left. But now I want it. I want it all.
I want to look at houses with him, pretending I’m the nervous wife and he’s the strong husband. He’ll try not to laugh when I go on and on about all the baking I’ll do for our three kids. He’ll blush