Wareham had told Margaret that she was almost sixteen. Her name was Naoko.
Finally, Dr. Bernstein said to Andrew, “You had better come look at this.” Andrew clasped his hands behind his back, then stepped over to the bed and bent down. He was at least a head taller than Dr. Bernstein. Mrs. Wareham and Naoko stepped farther into the room. Dr. Bernstein said, “When you press on the skin of the chest, here, the color underneath the surface yellow is very pale. See that?” Andrew nodded. “But it’s more than that. Here the belly is quite swollen. It wasn’t this way right after birth. Here.” He felt Alexander’s belly. “The liver. The spleen. Very enlarged. Enlarged overnight. See how his limbs are stiffening up?” He lifted an arm. Then he shook his head. Andrew stood up straight and looked at her. Dr. Bernstein said, “I have seen worse.”
Andrew said, “Have you seen worse that recovered?” His voice sounded scientific rather than fatherly. Margaret felt herself grow offended.
Dr. Bernstein sighed. “Once, I did.” Then he added, “That child lived.” He stressed the word “lived.” Dr. Bernstein gently wrapped Alexander back up. All this time, he had made no cry, only a few quiet sounds. The doctor turned to her and said, “Mrs. Early, you might try to nurse the boy again. Whether he takes hold and seems eager for nourishment will tell a great deal about how he is going to grapple with his condition.”
He put Alexander back in her arms, and the two men stared at her.
She wanted them to go out; she wanted all of them to go out, and herself and Alexander to be returned to that time in the night when they could do things on their own, without having to contend with this cacophony.
Andrew said, “What is his condition?”
“Jaundice. Icterus.”
Now, she thought, Andrew was going to ask Dr. Bernstein to tell him everything that anyone had ever said about jaundice or icterus, but he didn’t. The both of them simply looked at her, and she offered Alexander the breast.
He seemed indifferent, or more than indifferent—he turned his face away, as if trying to avoid it. It had been hours since the middle-of-the-night feeding, but he wasn’t hungry, or, she should say, wasn’t anything. But she touched herself to his lip, and all of a sudden he commenced sucking. As he went on, he sucked harder, as if sucking itself, the milk itself, reminded him of something good. He nursed for some ten minutes. Mrs. Wareham and Naoko left the doorway, and Dr. Bernstein looked on with evident satisfaction. When they were finished, he took Alexander away from her again, laid him on the bed again, unwrapped him. Alexander kicked his legs a few times and waved one of his arms. This was a good sign. She imagined herself fortifying her son, building him up like a little tower. She had never done much of anything, but, she felt, this she could do. Dr. Bernstein said, “That seems to have had an effect. Sometimes this resolves on its own. Depends on the child. I’m hopeful.”
MARGARET settled in on Ohio Street and made herself stop thinking of the future. Andrew brought her a couple of books and more clothes and some knitting she had been doing for Alexander, but even after she was feeling well enough to get out of bed (some three days, a very short time, according to Mrs. Wareham, who told her she hadn’t gotten out of bed after a childbirth in less than two weeks), the knitting looked to her like an abandoned artifact of a lost civilization. She had been knitting Alexander a little coat of red wool. Because of the color, she found she could not touch it. All day, whenever Mrs. Wareham was not in the room pressing sustenance upon her, she was staring at Alexander.
Yes, he was a strange boy, that much was evident. Not so bullish as the other boys she had known. He did not remind her of anyone, but he was no less interesting for that. Or, perhaps, he reminded her of her, of the strange lack she had of what her mother had always called, in admiration of her brothers, and also of Beatrice, “the life force.” Of course, there was a lot to be said for the life force. People with plenty of the life force found the world falling away around them. They didn’t feel the cold or the heat. They didn’t hear what