he didn’t give me away, I might be able to pull this off without looking like a total idiot. To my great relief, he didn’t argue. “See you later.”
I didn’t know if I was relieved that he had agreed or not. There might have been something comforting about having him insist on coming with me. But he wasn’t my knight in shining armor, he’d pointed that out several times. He was being nicer to me, but I was a job. I swallowed and followed Lilac down the hall. Her wings fluttered when she walked. It was distracting in a way that it took away some of my discomfort. Did she even notice? Was that normal? Walk and wings? I smiled. That was ridiculous to think about; it was everything I could do not to crack up laughing.
We finally reached a door and walked in. I caught my breath. It was the biggest room I’d ever seen. The bed was bigger than my entire cell had been.
“Princess?” Lilac stared at me. “Are you okay?”
I nodded, not able for a few seconds to find my voice. “This is mine?”
“All yours. This has always been the room of the royal heir. That’s you.”
A thought dawned on me. “Do I have brothers or sisters?”
“Oh no, ma’am. There is just you. And we are so happy you are home. It’s a miracle to us.”
Yes, I should have asked her questions or looked for something to do, but instead, I stood there dumbfounded without a clue.
“I’ll go run you a bath, Princess.”
She fluttered out of my suite like she couldn’t wait to be away from me. And for the first time since leaving Nightmare Penitentiary, I was alone. And everything felt wrong.
Chapter Thirteen
Lilac the Grundel dressed me up like a doll. The long dress had a train that trailed behind me for what felt like miles, and every time I spun around, it wrapped around my legs like rope. I hated it. I almost wished for my Nightmare uniform. It was threadbare and full of holes, but at least it didn’t try to trip me every time I walked. I didn’t see my parents again. For people who were so excited to see me, they sure didn’t make the time to check on me. This was awkward for all of us. We were virtual strangers. I wasn’t the daughter they planned to share a life with; I was an adult with tragedies on my back and a lifetime of solitude making me different.
I was almost relieved that we hadn’t spent time together. They made me feel so starkly out of place. If they knew me at all, they’d understand crowds made me uncomfortable, and spending my first night at my new home in a ballgown surrounded by people was a far cry from what I actually wanted to do.
If I could choose, I would sit down at a table and eat a real meal. Not some of the slop they served at the prison, or the pub food and alcohol Cypress introduced me to. No, I’d eat turkey and ham. I’d devour pies, cakes, breads. All the foods I’d seen guards pack for their lunches and heard prisoners chat about during those times the oatmeal didn’t satisfy us.
I’d sit in comfortable clothes and talk plainly with my parents. I’d learn about their life here. I’d tell them about Nightmare and how I was raised. It wasn’t an easy life, but I wanted to reassure them that I had it much better than others. But now, I wasn’t even sure that they’d care.
“Are you ready for the ball? Your hair looks lovely.” Lilac rarely spoke, and she had a soft voice that got on my nerves. It clashed with the anger in my chest. I spun to look in the mirror at my white dress covered in roses and the intricate design of my hair. The crown sitting on top of my head felt heavy and out of place.
“I don’t want to go,” I whispered.
“It’ll be lots of fun, Princess. Your parents are excited to show you off to the world.” I sighed. I didn’t want to be shown off to the world. I wanted to be understood and cherished. I felt like an ornament to be perched upon this kingdom’s shelves. It was all so weird. I didn’t have anything to compare this relationship to, but weren’t parents supposed to be loving? Attached? I always envisioned getting to know my family, and it never went like