the top of his head. What a series of wrenching trade-offs: each year he becomes more interesting as a person, but less hers alone.
Jimmy beams since he knows the gifts are next. He grabs for a box and rips into the wrapping paper. Alison and Emily return together to the kitchen to divide the cake.
Emily asks, “What did you get Jimmy? Hank said it was really special.”
“We told Jimmy for his birthday he could pick where we would go on our family vacation.”
“Great idea.”
“I figured, you know, Disneyland, Universal Studios.”
“And?”
“And he picked a ragged outback fishing camp in the middle of Lake Superior.”
“Let me guess, no room service.” Emily grins.
“No indoor plumbing.”
“So Hank and Jimmy are going without you?”
“No. All for one.”
“Well, at least you’ll get some fresh air.”
“Fresh air gives me hives.”
“Didn’t you go to camp as a kid?”
“I went to camp one time. I got a staph infection from a mosquito bite and my dad had me airlifted out.”
“Well, aren’t you Dora the Explorer. I’m kinda sorry I’m going to miss this adventure.”
“There will be nothing to see as far as I’m concerned. I bought two eight-hundred-page novels and enough bug repellent to maintain a defensible perimeter.” They each grab cake plates and head back into the dining room to distribute the cake.
Alison hands a plate to Jill who recoils and asks, “Is that Red Dye Number Two in the icing?”
Aunt Beth retorts, “Could someone please get the duct tape, Jill’s ruining dinner again.”
Jimmy pulls a two-foot remote controlled robot out of the box. He’s ecstatic! Everyone watches. He presses the controls and the robot scurries around the room with bells ringing and lights flashing.
“Cool! Really cool! Thanks, Uncle Wes.”
Uncle Wes beams, “Cool. You see! I always get the best gifts.” He turns to Hank, “Remember when I got you that hockey stick?”
“Uncle Wes, that was 1979.”
“See! You remember.”
Jimmy’s robot is followed by a new Xbox game, a skateboard, from his Aunt Emily and Grandma Carolyn. And from Aunt Jill two bottles of extra strength sunblock and a documentary titled Food, Inc.
While the Kraft family celebrates Jimmy’s birthday, Ben Burne’s family also celebrates. They, too, have a birthday today.
* * *
Chapter Five
Gravel Burne walks down the narrow windowless hallway toward his mother’s kitchen. His feet are flat and heavy. He is a gristly fifty-year-old with wiry arms and legs, and a mess of cheap hair plugs that look like clumps of dead grass. Long on anger, short on thought, he is the authority around his two other brothers while Ben is in the pen.
Small table lamps, with yellowed onionskin shades, shed the only light in this dreary apartment. City buildings rise up tall on all four sides blocking out the sun’s natural light and turning the room a bitter color. The windows don’t open so the air instead is stale and smells of mold and Bengay. The paint peels on the door moldings. The furniture resembles its owners: dysfunctional and warped.
In the kitchen, Theo Burne empties the jar of Ragu into the pot on the stove. Theo is an overly muscular, mildly retarded, mute man who follows his brothers like a puppy and has been trained well by them. Kent Burne, who is a year younger than Gravel, sits at the small table complaining to his mother.
“Most the trouble with women is they got no sense of humor, except for you, Mother.” Sitting across from him, the wisp of an old lady grins exposing a gaping black toothless hole. Kent continues, “I was at the Lenny’s BBQ with a prime piece-a-ass I picked up at the Walmart, and I let out this earth rockin’ fart, and the bitch don’t even crack a grin. Instead, she looks at me like her shit don’t stink.”
Gravel enters, “You might have more luck if you stop dating girls with hair on their back.”
“Great. Advice from a guy who owes a fortune to 976-U-CUM.”
A muffled grunting noise comes from Theo over at the stove. From the look on his face, it must be amusement. With the addition of Gravel, three of the four Burne brothers are present for their mother’s special eightieth birthday party. They are only missing their oldest brother Ben.
Theo spoons out macaroni from the pot on the stove, pours some Ragu over it and plops it down on the table for the family. He takes a couple of used, dirty spoons from the sink and hands them out. The four of them sit around the beaten up plastic table and