to seek out aid among the species who hate the Galactic Court as much as we humans do. Unfortunately, not only did Jacob pass away, but we were unsuccessful in obtaining an alliance with the Yolaris.
Which means I need Bravik to pilot this shuttle until I get to one of the rebel bases. However, I have no intention of actually leading him there. Even though I want to trust him because of how he saved and protected me, that’s not enough reason for me to endanger thousands of lives.
Somehow I have to convince him to help me until I can make the remainder of the journey on my own.
“I have coordinates in here,” I say, tapping the device, “that will lead me to my kind.”
He doesn’t respond to that, and I wonder if it’s because he’s thinking or for another reason altogether.
I drop my gaze to trace the tile pattern in order to avoid looking into his eyes. It’s as if he can see into my soul, and I don’t want him to suspect my real plan. Shame washes over me, weighing me down, when I think about ditching him on some random planet, after he saved me.
Being a soldier is never easy, but I don’t think it’s ever been this hard until now.
“Before Emji took me,” I whisper, my chest constricting with guilt, “I was on my way home, and I want to go back.”
Bravik takes my chin and lifts my head. My gaze widens at his proximity because I didn’t hear him move. He searches my face, and all the while, the heat from his fingers seeps into me, bringing a flush to my cheeks. Some of that blush may be from me being flustered, but I plan on denying it if anyone is to ask.
“I can see this means a lot to you, Ella. So I will escort you there myself.”
My eyes sting with tears born of gratitude and disgrace. It’s on the tip of my tongue to ask him why he believes me to be important to him. I’m no one special. And we’ve never met before, so the sudden interest in me is…strange, and quite suspicious.
However, I stay quiet, not ready to have that heavy conversation. There are a few other things I need to take care of first. At the top of my list is a shower, followed by some ointment for the burn on my ankle. I haven’t inspected it because there hasn’t been time, but the occasional swipe of the dress’s hem across it elicits pain I’ve been ignoring until now. And those things will be followed by food. Sleep is something I’m still not sure about because it’s a vulnerable state.
However, when I look at Bravik, I know I’m in a perpetual state of vulnerability.
“Okay.” I nod and sweep past him to backtrack to the cockpit. After entering the coordinates of the check-in point, I massage my lower back. And meet his gaze, since he’s right behind me. This shuttle was always tiny, but with him in it… It’s like being in a closet. “Well, we are all set, so I’m going to freshen up and take a shower.”
Usually this is about the time I’d make a self-deprecating joke about my filthy appearance, just to make things less awkward, but that will not work in this instance. I’m still very embarrassed about my hygiene, even though the state of that is no fault of my own. And I really don’t think there’s anything I can say to make the situation better, since I plan to ditch him once we arrive at our destination. I can’t, in any way, trust a stranger with knowledge of the rebellion. Too many lives are at stake, and the weight of that is not light.
Sometimes I think there will be physical marks on my body from carrying it for so long.
Bravik dips his head, studying me. His stare is so intense that I spin on my heel and walk swiftly to the bathroom, eager to get away. I sigh in relief once the bolt slides into place, ensuring my privacy and giving me a slight reprieve from…everything. The last few weeks under Emji’s authority were not horrific, but neither were they pleasant. Then you add the Incarus to that and it’s a full-on circus of crazy events.
I set down my clothing on the counter and glance at myself in the mirror as I strip out of my rags. The image that greets me has me cringing.