The Price of Inertia (The Seven Sins #4) - Lily Zante Page 0,36

that I fall for the wrong guys every time?

Imprisoned in this huge mansion with nothing much to do in my evenings, I nitpick the knotty fabric of our past in an attempt to unravel it. I look for moments and conversations where he might have left a clue, I try to find the exact point in our relationship where he started to look elsewhere because I was not enough. And at the same time I want to believe that his cheating was a glitch. I want to pretend it never happened. But it did happen. He got someone pregnant and he’s with her now.

Ruminating over the carcass of my past, I find nothing but hollow bones and promises.

Now I have plunged into another crazy situation. Ward is complicated. He’s my boss, and he’s changeable, and strange. Sometimes I feel as if I understand him, and then he’ll go and do or say something to prove that I have no idea about him at all.

Is the fault with me?

For the next few days I get up at an ungodly hour to tidy his room, knowing he came down early that day because he had his plot twist in his head. I’d rather not run into him like that again.

Purposefully staying out of Ward’s way means that the only person I see is Jamie.

There’s a note for me one morning when I enter the kitchen. It’s from Ward, of course and it’s the first time he’s written me a note. I marvel at the neat handwriting he has for a man.

More salad, please. Quiche is good.

No quinoa

I throw it away, but going forward, if he leaves me notes, that’s what I’ll prepare for his meals. Prior to this I’d been guessing and he would eat whatever I made, so this is a first, him dictating to me what he prefers.

“Let’s go out tomorrow,” Jamie says one Friday. I raise an eyebrow. “You look like you need to get out of this prison.”

I catch sight of Ward walking past the kitchen door. “A prison,” I hoot with pretend laughter, loud enough that I hope he hears. “That sounds about right.” I want to twist that knife right where it hurts.

“You up for it?” Jamie sounds surprised that I’ve accepted straightaway.

“I’m definitely up for it.” I’m in the mood for having some fun. It’s better than staying in this miserable place.

“Where do you want to go?” he asks.

I’m too busy staring at the doorway, waiting to see if Ward is hovering around, eavesdropping.

“Mari,” Jamie touches my hand. “Where do you want to go?”

“I don’t mind. You pick a place, and then pick me up.”

I visit my mom the next morning. She seems fine and alert, and she recognizes me, which is always a big bonus.

I brush her hair, and slip on the new cardigan I’ve bought her. She used to always feel cold, especially in recent years, and she doesn’t tell me anymore, but I worry that she’s cold. Would she even think to tell me? I put the new cardigan on her before we go for a walk in the grounds.

She seems a little bit more frail than last time. I don’t have a plan, but a wish, and that is to have her come back home. One day when I get a place of my own. Even as I imagine this, the logical part of my brain knows she will be here until the end of her life and I’ll never have my mom back at my place.

My place.

I have no place.

But the money for taking care of Ward is a huge help.

Maybe I can rent a place near the nursing home? It’s a new idea, and I resolve to start looking for my next job around here.

Lunch time comes and I sit across the table watching my mom but she’s having problems feeding herself. It takes forever for her to lift the spoon from the soup bowl to her mouth, and her hand shakes which in turn spills the soup. I try to hold back, I want to let her do it, but after the fourth time, when she spills half of the soup on her clothes, it becomes too painful for me to watch.

I take over gently, telling her I can help, and I end up feeding my seventy-eight year old mom. A thought comes to me, it’s one I’ve been pushing to the back of my mind, but now its in front of me and I can’t avoid it.