Pretty Sweet - Christina Lee Page 0,77

building doesn’t mean—”

“Fuck, you’re right. I did it again.” I shut my eyes and reined in my breaths. “Guess I’m a work in progress.”

She reached for my hand across the table and squeezed. “We both are, honey.”

After that it felt a bit easier between us, even though the air wasn’t completely cleared. I was still holding all my bigger fears and worries inside but figured I had time to work through them later. We ate and talked about work, and I told her about Brett’s reaction to the news today. She rolled her eyes and shook her head, assuring me he’d get there.

“Speaking of Seth, what’s new with the two of you?”

I couldn’t keep the grin off my face even if I tried. “We’re gonna rent a cabin by the lake and go away for the weekend, just the two of us.”

“Sounds perfect.”

I sighed and sat back. “It does, doesn’t it?”

29

Seth

I sat outside the apartment building, as though something bad was going to happen to me if I got out of my car and went inside. It was silly—more than silly, ridiculous even. I knew that. I understood that. I could acknowledge those things until I was blue in the face, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t freaking out.

I couldn’t understand why I was so stressed. I’d fought my mom on coming to Portland for college when she’d wanted me to stay home. I was twenty-one years old. There was no reason I couldn’t live where I wanted. I had my inheritance from my dad, so I didn’t need her money. If I needed to, I could look for a full-time job. I wanted to work more often. There were so many things I wanted but had never allowed myself to have because it was easier to let her run my life for me.

Because I loved her. Because I didn’t want to let her down. Maybe because the Colton thing made me feel like I couldn’t make my own smart decisions. I didn’t quite know all the reasons. But God, I needed to live.

So I took a couple of deep breaths and got out of my car. The apartment I was going to look at was in Jake’s neighborhood, though that wasn’t why I was interested. It was the vibe I liked. It was cozy here, the complex cute and older and simple in this way I loved. At least that was how it had looked online.

I hadn’t told Jake or Jesse that I was going to look at it. I knew both of them would have offered to come, and while I appreciated it, I wanted to do this on my own.

I headed for the office first, the way I’d been instructed when I made my appointment. I was meeting with a man named Craig, who would be showing me the unit.

He was in the office when I got there, shaking hands with a woman whose little girl looked up at me with big eyes and said, “Wow. Your makeup is pretty. I didn’t know boys could wear makeup.”

I immediately froze, but tried not to react. I didn’t know what her mom was like or what she had been taught, but what I did know was that boys could wear makeup. I’d gone back and forth about wearing it today, but I liked the way makeup made me feel. I always had, and I was determined to try and let that be all that mattered.

“Oh my God. I’m so sorry!” the mom turned to say to me just as I replied to the little girl, “Some boys wear makeup, and some don’t.” I breathed in relief.

The mom looked back at me. “I like the shade of your red lipstick.”

“Thanks.”

The two left, and Craig held out his hand for me. “Seth, right?”

“Yeah, it’s nice to meet you.”

“You too. You wanted to see a one-bedroom unit?”

I nodded, and he got some paperwork and led the way outside. He talked about the complex, activities, the exercise room, and showed me the courtyard, which had a beautiful fountain. “I love it.”

“Me too,” Craig said. “I live here. I like to sit out here and read sometimes.”

It was the type of complex where you got to your unit from the outside. I knew Mom would hate the idea of that, but then, nothing about this place would be up to her standards.

Craig led me to number 208, a downstairs apartment. He unlocked and opened the door for me to go inside.

“Oh…” I said softly.