my mouth on him had been my reward, and maybe his too, even though I probably wasn’t very good at it my first time. But you wouldn’t know it because Seth’s response had been nothing short of incredible. And then that other thing—having my finger inside him—was something I’d only ever fantasized about after watching gay porn. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever imagine it would come to fruition with someone I was wildly attracted to and more. So much more. I rubbed at a spot on my chest that ached with the knowledge of my growing feelings for him.
That night, as I drove to my mom’s place to return her pasta bowl from the party and to eat dinner together, my phone buzzed with a text from Seth.
I read his message as soon as I pulled into a parking space at her apartment building.
Check out this awesome cabin when you get a chance. It looks almost like the one I used to go to with my dad.
I smiled at my phone. Will do. About to go up to see Mom.
Behave, he wrote, adding a wink emoji. And tell Bonnie I said hi.
I smiled all the way up in the elevator and until I got to her door. I half expected Bruce to be the one to greet me, and my stomach unclenched the moment I realized it would be just the two of us. Because I was still a jerk and needed time to get acclimated. Not that I wanted Mom to know I had cried on Seth’s shoulder because I was still having trouble with the idea. I didn’t want to ruin anything for her, so it was better if I kept my shit together.
“Hi, honey,” she said with a smile as I stepped inside.
“Hey, Ma.” I glanced around the space like someone would appear from around the corner. I immediately thrust the thought from my brain. I did not need to be thinking about what room anyone would be coming out of at any time of day when it came to my mother.
“Pizza and salad okay?” she asked.
“Of course.” I eyed the delivery box in the center of the table. “Can I help you with anything?”
“Nope, I’m all set.” She placed a large bowl of salad beside the pizza. “Just grab yourself a drink.”
So I did, then sat down as Mom used the tongs to serve us salad, and it was awkward between us for the first time in…maybe ever. And it was all my fault for responding the way I did the other night. I needed to fix it so there wouldn’t be this weird tension between us anymore. I was a mature adult, after all.
I wiped my mouth after taking a bite of my pizza. “Do you want to tell me about Bruce?”
She arched an eyebrow. “I don’t know. Are you going to respond the same way again?”
“No. I’m sorry.” My shoulders deflated. “I was having a bad night. He seems like a good guy.”
“He is.” Her eyes glowed in a way I hadn’t seen before. I rubbed at a stitch in my chest. After we left my dad, it was as if all the light had gone out of her, so no matter how much trouble I was having adapting to all this, it was still nice to see. “He’s kind and sweet and makes me feel good about myself.”
Suddenly I got choked up and immediately cleared my throat, trying to keep it together. I reached for my glass and downed the cool water. Wasn’t that what I’d always wanted for Mom? For her to know her own worth, and, of course, feel safe with anyone she chose to spend her time with.
“I’m glad to hear it,” I said in a rough voice, and she gave me a withering look. “I am. Of course I want you to be happy. How did you two meet?”
She smiled and looked toward the door as if remembering the moment fondly. “At a mixer. He lives on the seventh floor.”
I bristled; couldn’t help myself. “Have you talked about what might happen if—”
“Yes,” she replied in an exasperated tone. “We decided to take it very slow and become friends first so that maybe we can still be friends if dating doesn’t work out between us.” She placed her fork down and gave me a pointed look. “I’m not going into this blindly. And not every man is going to become violent. Just because he lives in the