Pretty Sweet - Christina Lee Page 0,39

play the piano for them.”

“That’s nice, dear. I really wish you could have taken that internship I was able to get for you. Your father says I should have forced you, but—”

“Stepfather,” I cut her off. “He’s not my dad.”

“He might as well be. That’s not the point of what I was discussing, though. You need to build your portfolio. Your name will only get you so far.”

“I didn’t want to do the internship. I’m already going to school for something I hate,” I snapped.

She sighed. “Can we not do this again? It’s getting exhausting. Do you know how many people would love the life you’ve been given? You’re incredibly privileged, and it’s quite selfish to not take advantage of that.”

Guilt flooded me. She was right, of course. I thought of how Jesse worked his ass off to afford school and to make ends meet. That would never be me. It had never been me. How many people would love to be in my place? “You’re right. I just… I’ll be graduating next year. I wanted the summer off.”

“This is exactly the summer you shouldn’t have taken off. Your dad was the same way. He was always wanting to flit around—driving fast cars, and getting a pilot’s license, and whatever wild idea he had. That’s what got him killed.”

All I wanted to do was make people feel pretty and spend time with my friends, but I didn’t tell her that. “Yes, ma’am.”

We spoke for a little while longer. She asked when I was coming for a visit, and I played it off like I had one planned soon, but the truth was, there was nothing I wanted less than to go back to Philly. Where I didn’t fit. Where my mom and stepdad went to fancy dinner parties with Colton’s family and wished I was more like him. Where I couldn’t wear makeup and had to pretend I wanted to be master of the universe, and where things were cold and unloving. Where Jake’s strong arms weren’t around me and Jesse’s laugh didn’t fill my head. Where Bonnie’s kind words didn’t make me feel loved in an unfamiliar way.

And the last thing I wanted was to risk losing that, which was exactly what I was afraid would happen if I pushed this thing with Jake. He would think me too clingy, and things would be weird.

But then I thought of the way he looked at me, like maybe he liked what he saw. Even if that were true, if Jake was bi and attracted to me, eventually he would want more than to cuddle with me, and as much as I wanted that as well, I didn’t think it was something I could give.

16

Jake

The following Monday at work I still couldn’t shake Seth from my brain. So I put my earbuds in, rolled beneath the F-150 I was working on, and cranked up the music.

Even Mom had noticed I was a bit preoccupied when I was at her new place to hang shelves and arrange furniture the morning after Seth slept over.

I didn’t tell her that part, though.

“How was last night?” she’d asked. “Did you go see Seth play?”

“Yep,” I replied, and she looked relieved. Probably because she was worried I’d only obsess about her safety, and she wouldn’t have been wrong. “He was incredible.”

She arched an eyebrow. “You seem in awe.”

I chuckled. “I was. And of his friend Jesse too. They played off each other, and it was an awesome show.”

She handed me a screwdriver. “I’m so glad you had fun.”

“And how about your night?”

“I’m getting used to the new sounds of my apartment, like the refrigerator.” She smiled as she motioned toward the small kitchenette area. That was when the low hum from the appliance registered. I was about to suggest she should talk to the super about it, but kept my mouth shut instead.

“But it felt good to wake up in my own place this morning.” She reached out to pat my hand. “I needed to do this.”

“I know, Ma.” I kissed her cheek. “I’m happy for you.”

I couldn’t fault her kicking me out early either, but at least she fed me first with the large pizza she’d ordered. I’d definitely miss her cooking. Not that she’d never have me over for dinner, but it was high time to start thinking about fending for myself.

Still, going home to an empty house would continue to be strange for a while. I’d almost texted Seth last night to ask