Pretty Sweet - Christina Lee Page 0,37
it’s always been the two of us, and even knowing this time would come, that she would move out…I don’t know…it hasn’t exactly sunk in yet.” I was actually grateful he’d stayed last night because it helped lessen the blow.
“Is that why you don’t have anyone in your life?” His tone was cautious. “I’m just thinking about what Bonnie said, about you finally being able to date or whatever.”
Was that the reason why? I didn’t think so. It wasn’t like Mom or the guys at the shop didn’t encourage me any chance they got. Besides, I’d hooked up plenty.
“Nah, I’ve just…never found anybody special or understanding enough. I mean, I’m a grown man who until yesterday lived with his mom. Think about how well that went over.” I snickered. “How about you? You’re pretty awesome, so why aren’t you taken?”
Even with the dispersed light in the room, I could tell he was flushing. “I, uh, the first time I thought a guy liked me was a pretty bad experience. It’s made me cautious.”
My whole body stiffened. “Did he hurt you?”
“Not in the way you’re thinking,” he replied, but it didn’t make the knots in my stomach loosen. “I feel so stupid, but sometimes I feel like…I don’t know, it kind of broke me or something. Like it ruined me. For all I know, I was already broken.”
“Hey,” I said, lifting his chin with my thumb. “It’s absolutely not stupid. No one can predict how something will affect them. How big or small it might register. Your experiences are valid, and they make you who you are.”
And the way he was looking at me right then, like I hung the moon? I wanted to lean forward and take his mouth. Taste his lips and tongue and make him shiver and moan… Whoa, I’d never had such a tender thought about another person, let alone another man. There was something about this guy that appealed to me at a bone-deep level.
“Thanks.” Seth swallowed roughly. “How about the first time you felt stuff for someone?”
“You mean, crushed on a girl?” I asked, and his eyebrows drew together. Damn, why the hell had I asked it like that? Of course it would be a girl—in his eyes.
“Well, yeah…” He drew back and gaped at me. “Unless I’m missing something?”
“No, no.” I shook my head. Fuck. I couldn’t, not right now. Not when I couldn’t get a handle yet on what I was feeling. “I was in high school, and I’d go to Tucker’s house a lot or hang out at the garage—hell, that was probably why his dad put me to work, because I was always there—trying to escape my house but also making sure I was there every night with Mom, in case…” I swallowed. “So anyway, there were these two older girls, and I was crushing hard on the brunette. We hooked up one night at the park, and God…” I rubbed my hand over my face. “It was awful—mostly for her. I was so nervous about screwing up and… Christ, why am I even telling you this?”
He cracked a smile. “Because I asked you and we’re sharing, and I guess that’s what friends do?”
“Guess so…” I grinned, then sobered as I considered what he’d shared. “Fuck, I’m sorry about whatever happened with that guy. I don’t ever want you to feel unsafe around me. You tell me if I ever put you in a position that makes you feel uncomfortable.”
“I will.” He looked away bashfully, then back to me. “I haven’t known you that long, but somehow I feel like you wouldn’t hurt me, at least not on purpose.” He threw his arms around me, and fuck, my stomach felt all strange. “You’ve been awesome.”
Shit. I pulled him close, and he was warm and smelled good, and fuck, he was also hard.
Hard as I was, and goddamn it—I drew back suddenly. Turmoil and fear twisted like a tornado inside my chest. What in the hell was I doing? Sleeping next to him was enough, but to imagine anything else? I was going to have a freaking panic attack.
“Gotta take a leak,” I said, then rolled out of bed. I shut myself in the bathroom, pissed, threw water on my face, and tried to get my pulse to settle down.
It’s only a hard-on. Get over yourself. This guy was throwing me for a loop, and after everything that had gone down between last night and this morning, I needed a minute to