we went back to the house, set out our pallets under the stars, and lay planning the rebuilding of Sentas.
Sotur said, "You know, if we could get some of them to help, to work on it, they might not hate it."
"Ugh! I don't want any of them around," said Ris. "They're foul."
"One couldn't trust them," said Uter, who was less skinny and bony this summer, but no less prim.
"The one with the jenny was all right," his sister Umo said.
"Comy," Astano said. "Yes, he was nice. Remember when he sang?"
We all lay remembering that golden, mysterious evening on the summit of the hills.
"We'd have to ask the foreman," Astano said to Sotur, and they briefly discussed the chances of getting any farm slave released to us. "Only if we said they were to work for us," Sotur said, and Astano replied, "Well, they would. We worked as hard as any of them do! Digging that moat was awful! And we never could have done it without Yaven."
"But it would be different," Sotur said. "Giving orders..."
Astano said, "Yes."
And there they left it. The idea was not mentioned again.
We rebuilt Sentas, even if not to Yaven's or Everra's standards. And when it was rebuilt, we held a ceremony of purification, circling the walls within, not in mockery, but as it was described in Garro's poem, with our teacher leading the procession as the high priest and lighting the sacred fire in the citadel. All summer we often went to that hilltop as a group or in pairs or singly, all of us feeling it to be, amid all the wealth of woods and hills and streamside that the farm offered, our dearest place, our fortress and retreat.
Aside from repairing Sentas, we had no great projects; we put on a few dance-plays, but mostly what I remember is swimming with Tib in pools under the willows and alders, and lazing about in the shade talking, and going on long, desultory explorations of the woods south of the house. We did lessons for a half-morning daily with our teacher, and Ris and Sallo were often kept on for music lessons with Sotur and Umo, for a singing teacher had come from Herramand. Sotur's little niece Utte had graduated from the "tiny ones" to run around with us, under Oco's particular care; and sometimes we took a whole batch of the older babies down to the stream and supervised the splashing and screaming and shrieking and sleeping, all through a long, hot afternoon.
Sotur's aunts and the Mother often joined us there, and sometimes Uter and Tib and I were sent away because the women and the older girls were going to bathe. Uter was convinced that the farm boys hid in the bushes to spy on them. He would patrol up and down officiously, ordering Tib and me to help him "keep the vile brutes away from the women." Knowing the terrible punishment for such a transgression against the sacredness of the Mother, I was sure the farm slaves would never come anywhere near our bathing pool; but Uter's mind ran on such things, fascinated by the idea of pollution.
I was slow in my adolescence. To me Uter's obsessions were as stupid as Tib's sniggering attempts at manly remarks about what you might see if you did hide in the bushes. I knew what women looked like. I'd lived in the women's quarters all my life. Just because Tib had been sent across to the men's barrack last winter, he acted as if there was something special about a woman with her clothes off. It was, I thought, incredibly childish.
It had nothing to do with what I felt, lately, when I heard Sotur sing. That was entirely different. It had nothing to do with bodies. It was my soul that listened and was filled with pain and glory and unspeakable yearning. ...
Late that summer Yaven and Torm came to Vente with the Father, and the division between Family and slaves was again drawn deep by the presence of the Family men. I went out one day seeking solitude. Among the forested hills south of the farmhouse I found a beautiful oak grove in the fold of two hills. A clear stream ran down through it, and there was a strange little structure of rock halfway up the slope: a shrine, certainly, but to what god I did not know. I told Sallo about it, and she wanted to see it. So one afternoon I took