the little darlings had done that. “Little shits, I wish I’d spoken to you first. Anyway, they’re leaving now so you won’t encounter them again,” I said. I waved as I mounted the quad and left, absolutely thankful I hadn’t bumped into Big Cock. “And, I’ll be sure to mention that to their delightful mother.”
I left then and headed back to the house. Ronan was still in the office when I returned and laughed as I told him what had happened.
“We’ll put more notices along the fence. Not that we should have to, it’s bloody well signposted anyway,” he said. “And this lot called for you.” He slid a note across the desk.
“Ah, peacocks,” I said. He raised his eyebrows. “We told Mrs. Sharpe about our peacocks so we need to have them,” I said, laughing.
The rescue centre wanted to bring forward their visit as they had someone in the area. I chuckled. No one was ever in the area where the estate was unless they were coming to visit.
Although Ronan had finally agreed to the peacocks, it had been reluctantly. “At this rate, we’re going to need a bloody zoo keeper,” he said.
“I need to check on Ronnie and Reggie. I’ll be back with some lunch for you,” I replied.
“Protective clothing, remember?”
I laughed and then headed to the house. Maggie wanted to collect eggs, we hadn’t been in the coop for a couple of days and the chickens—we’d named Ronnie and Reggie because they just didn’t give a shit and ruled the roost—weren’t user friendly.
“Are you ready?” she said, as I entered the kitchen. I burst into laughter.
When we’d transformed Christine, we’d found some overalls, a welder’s mask, and a pair of welder’s gloves. That get-up was now Maggie’s egg collecting outfit. In addition, she had a lovely little basket over her arm that was lined with a beautiful yellow material and padded at the bottom to protect the eggs.
I pulled on Charlie’s fisherman’s waders and tucked the legs into wellies. I pulled on a short wax jacket, despite the summer heat. Protection was foremost in my mind, and if sweating buckets was a by-product of that, I wasn’t complaining. I had a couple of pounds to lose. Ronan, of course, reminded me constantly of my gimp suit episode.
“Ready?” I said, Maggie nodded; already the plastic visor had steamed up because she hadn’t prepped it.
We headed out. Even though he was in his office, we could hear Ronan laughing as we passed. Maggie stuck two fingers up at him.
We rounded the corner and behind one of the sheds, backing into the woodland was the chicken run. Before we’d got to the gate Ronnie and Reggie were at us, squawking and wings flapping frantically. They ran at us as we slid into the coop. I distracted them by allowing them to peck at my legs and feet, while Maggie grabbed the eggs. One—I could never tell them apart—flew at me. She could only get waist-high but her bloody beak was like a knife. If they could, they’d slash us to pieces. We didn’t believe they were stressed we were taking the eggs; they behaved the same even at feed time.
“Fuck off, you little bugger,” I said, quietly. They scared me and I wasn’t going to provoke them further by shouting. I could hear Maggie chuckle. “How did we end up with these gangsters?” I asked aloud.
“They were free. Now we know why,” Maggie answered in a muffled voice.
Answering me was her undoing. Ronnie, or it could have been Reggie, went for her. They pecked at her hands and she waved them off. That infuriated the bird further and the other joined in. I breathed a sigh of relief that I had a moment of respite. However, Maggie and I had practiced this. As soon as they switched their attack, I grabbed the basket and the last remaining eggs while Maggie drew them away from the gate.
We managed to get out fairly unscathed on that occasion. It hadn’t always been that easy.
“I shall enjoy eating all these eggs,” Maggie said, laughing and waving the basket at the pair who were still stomping up and down the fence.
It look longer to disrobe than it had to collect the eggs but, whatever it was with Ronnie and Reggie, their eggs were the best I’d ever tasted. I hadn’t considered the taste of eggs before I ate real free range. They added a different flavour to the cakes Maggie made, as well.
Ronan walked into