is fresh, making the isolated beach seem even more deserted. We could be the only ones on the entire planet right now.
I revel in it. “This is a perfect loophole. If only we could close everywhere down when I wanted to go out.”
“Maybe you could buy your own town and then pay all the people in it to pretend you’re a no one.”
“Brilliant idea and totally logistically sound.”
“I’m here to help.”
I lean back on my towel and let my skin soak up the sun. “Okay, so you know I’m all about music. I know you’re all about being a badass and giving perspective to neurotic pop stars. What else is there?”
Brix mirrors my position, lying back and using his arm as a pillow. “There isn’t much else. What did you want to know?”
“I take it you’re still not going to tell me what you do on your usual Sundays.”
“Nope.”
Worth a shot. I try not to dwell on his refusal to share with me. “So that’s off-limits. What about … okay, who’d you lose your virginity to?”
“Are we really doing the ‘getting to know you’ thing right now?”
“I can’t think of anything better than being out here and wasting time with inane questions.”
“You know what else is relaxing?” Brix side-eyes me. “Silence.”
“No, silence is the worst. Especially when there’s a constant buzz of chatter in your head.”
“Maybe you should see someone about that.”
“The voices? Nah, it’s normal for creative types. I need to drown it out with mindless shit.” I sit up to face him, but he stays lying down.
My gaze roams over his bulging muscles. Brix’s shirt rises up just enough for a sliver of abs to show. My eyes travel up and meet his amused gaze.
I clear my throat. “I can go first if you want. I can’t tell you his name, but I can tell you that he was a DJ for a popular radio station. I was barely eighteen. He was thirty.”
“Are older guys your thing? I’m only twenty-eight. Am I too young for you?” His lips twitch.
“Jay’s younger. You know that.”
“I do. I guess I’m wondering what your type is.”
“I don’t think I have one.” I stare out at the water to stop myself from saying you. You’re my type. “Male and breathing is always sexy.”
Brix laughs. “Breathing is kinda a big one for me too, but generally speaking, I like bigger guys.”
“Bigger than you? You have fantasies about Sasquatch or something?” What does he see in me?
“Mm, Bigfoot. I’m getting hard just thinking about it.”
I backhand his leg.
His eyes glisten with amusement. “In all honesty, until I met you, I thought I had a type. Now I’m thinking I’ve been going after the wrong type.”
“Amen,” I mumble.
“So, the radio DJ. Was it as serious as Jay?”
“God no. It was my first dirty little secret relationship that was on and off for about a year. We’d only ever be together whenever we were in his city. Like, we weren’t official, obviously, and I wasn’t delusional. I’d found a guy who was in the industry and would keep my secret, and he was fun to be around. I wasn’t expecting a happily ever after. But it all fell to pieces when I saw him coming out of one of the other guy’s hotel room during a visit. He could be with whoever he wanted when we were apart, just not one of my bandmates. That’s, like, gross.”
Brix’s jaw ticks. “Bandmate? Are the Ryley4Ever rumors true?”
I keep my mouth shut, not confirming or denying anything.
“Did you two ever—”
“No. Hell no. I think I suggested it once when I was being emo and needed someone. Instead, he held me all night and let me cry on his shoulder.” And now I’m oversharing. I clear my throat. “I mean, uh, we did masculine things like, uh—”
“Drank away your feelings with beer and went hunting.”
“Yes. Let’s go with that. Anyway, that night cemented our friendship and we agreed we were too much like brothers. Even the fighting. Adding sex to that … just no.”
The water crashes against the cliffs, and I imagine myself floating on the waves and away from that admission.
I feel eyes on me, and I wonder what Brix sees. I wonder if he can see the loneliness I’d endured until I’d found Ryder with my pseudo-boyfriend and realized I had someone else to talk to. Someone I could confide in.
“I lost my virginity to Molly McCannon,” Brix says suddenly.