Poison & Wine - Melissa Toppen Page 0,87
deal this is. At this point, she’s still so young that she’s never asked about her father. Though I’m sure one day she would have. It’s easier if I tell her now. Because right now, all she sees is the good and none of the bad. And I want her to see the good.
“Yes, baby.” I kiss the top of her head when it settles back down on my chest. “You can call him Daddy.”
She doesn’t say anything else and after a couple of minutes I can tell she’s drifted off again.
My tears fall harder. The reality of our situation seeming to take hold.
I fought so hard for a life I thought I wanted, yet the minute it’s within my grasp, I let it slip right through my fingers.
I don’t deny that maybe Jace would be better without me. Hell, maybe I’d be better without him. But in this moment, it sure doesn’t feel that way. In fact, it feels like Earth is about to open up and swallow me whole. The only thing tethering me in place is the precious little girl in my arms.
At the end of the day, she is what matters most. And as long as I have her, I know I’ll be able to find my way. No matter what happens next.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
JACE
* * *
“Morning, sunshine.” I jump at the sound of the office door slamming shut, peeling my eyes open to see Devin take a seat behind his desk.
“Mornin’,” I grumble, forcing myself to sit up. Rubbing my eyes with the backs of my hands, I let out a loud yawn. “What time is it?”
“Just after seven.”
“The shop doesn’t open for another three hours. What the hell are you doing here so early?” I ask.
“I always come in this early.” He lifts a travel mug, no doubt filled with coffee, to his lips and takes a small sip. “How’d you sleep? For an old lumpy couch, that thing’s not too bad.”
“I’ve definitely slept on worse,” I admit. “But the real question is, why have you slept on it?”
“I’ve had a time or two where the old lady didn’t give me much of a choice.” He grins.
“Thanks for letting me crash here, by the way.” I swing my legs over the side of the couch, turning my head from side to side to pop my neck.
“Not a problem. But you know, eventually you’re going to have to talk to her.” He doesn’t need to elaborate. I know exactly who he’s referring to.
“I know. I’m just not sure what there is left to say.”
“Look, Jace.” He sets his cup on his desk and leans forward on his elbows. “It’s been almost a week. And while I don’t mind you staying here, you know you can’t do it forever.”
“I know.” I let out a slow breath.
I owe Devin a lot. More than I could ever repay him. He gave me a job. Paid for my brother’s funeral when I couldn’t. And when I showed up here a few days ago asking for a place to stay, he didn’t hesitate to help me out. Had it not been for him talking me down, then Mike dragging my ass to a meeting, I honestly don’t know where I would have ended up. I was so pissed at Oakley, but truthfully, I was more pissed at myself. Because ultimately it’s my actions that landed me in this position. The mistrust, the doubt. I planted all of that there. And now the roots have grown so deep, I’m afraid there’s no way to pull them out of the fucking ground.
“I don’t mean to overstep, and perhaps it’s not my place, but you’re not going to solve anything by hiding out here. You need to talk to her, work this shit out. If you don’t, you’ll never forgive yourself.”
“And what if it’s over? What if my mistakes are too much for us to get past?”
“Do you think they are?”
“I didn’t. But now I’m not so sure.”
“Well, there’s only one way to find out. If it’s over, I’m sure it’ll hurt like hell, but at least you’ll have your answer. I know firsthand that even the worst outcome is better than living in limbo.”
“Yeah,” I grunt, knowing he’s right.
“As much as I love seeing your pretty face every morning…” He grins.
“You want me to get the fuck out,” I finish his sentence, with no real clue if that’s what he was going to say.
“I wouldn’t have put it like that, but yeah, let’s