Poison & Wine - Melissa Toppen Page 0,76
lot of options are off the table. And I’ve made my peace with that. It may not be the most glamorous job, but it’s an honest way to earn a living. And really, that’s all I care about.
I want to stand on my own two feet, and for the first time in almost four years, help Oakley support our daughter. I know financially she doesn’t need my help but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to contribute. Ellie is my daughter too.
“Hey.” I straighten my posture, dropping the old oil filter into the drain pan on the floor next to me.
“It’s been a hell of a day. I think I’m gonna hit up a meeting after work. You wanna come with?”
“Actually, I have dinner plans tonight,” I say, unable to mask the smile that slides across my face.
“Oh yeah.” He shoves my shoulder. “Who’s the lucky lady?”
“Well, she’s about this tall.” I hold my hand up to my outer thigh. “Red hair. Blue eyes. The cutest fucking freckles you’ve ever seen.”
“Do you have some kind of fetish I need to know about?” He jabs at me.
Up to this point I have yet to tell anyone about Ellie. I guess I needed time to process it on my own, before sharing it with other people. That, and I didn’t know how any of it would play out. Truth be told, I still don’t. But like my sobriety, I’m taking it one day at a time.
It’s been nearly a week since I joined Oakley and Ellie at the park. And while I’ve tried to be patient, it’s been a challenge to not hound Oakley to let me see her every five minutes. Although, she’s been really good about letting me spend time with Ellie. It’s normally only an hour or sometimes less, usually in the evenings, but at this point I’ll take whatever I can get.
She’s trying to acclimate me slowly and not overwhelm Ellie, and I get that. But I can’t help but want to spend every single moment of every single day with her.
Right now I’m still her mom’s friend, Wace. But one day, I hope to hear that sweet little voice call me Dad.
“Actually,” I shift my weight, “she’s my daughter.”
I don’t miss the look of surprise that crosses Mike’s face.
“I didn’t know you had a kid. Tommy never said anything about it.”
The mention of my brother comes with an air of sadness. I miss him. Every fucking day. And I know how much he would have loved Ellie. Fuck, he probably would have spoiled her rotten. It kills me that he’ll never get to meet her, but I hold some comfort in knowing that he’s looking down on us and fucking happy as hell for me.
“I, uh, actually just found out last week.”
“No shit?” He gapes at me. “How the hell did that come about?”
“Well, I’ve told you about Oakley.”
“Yeah.” He nods.
“What I haven’t told you is that the reason she left me is because after I nearly killed her in a car accident, she found out she was pregnant. She knew she couldn’t trust me anymore and in an attempt to keep our baby safe, she left.”
Mike already knows about the accident, having attended a few meetings with me. I talk about my past a lot. It gives me an outlet to sort through a lot of the feelings that still plague me on a daily basis.
“And how did you find out about her?”
“Oakley told me. Well, after I kind of pieced it together. It’s been a lot. Over the last week she’s been letting me see her here and there. Fuck, my daughter’s incredible. I never knew I could be so happy, yet so scared at the same time. I just want to put a bubble around her and protect her from… well, people like me.” I grunt.
“Welcome to parenthood. You think it’s bad now, just wait until she’s a teenager. You worry about them more when they’re older than you do when they are little.”
“Don’t tell me that. I’m already sick with worry as it is.” I blow out a hard breath through my nose.
“You’ll be fine, Jace. If there’s one thing I can say about being a father, it’s that you’ll never do anything harder, or more rewarding, in your entire life. It’s life changing.”
“Fuck yeah it is. I’ve only known about her for a week and everything already feels different. It felt different the moment I laid eyes on her.”
“Yep. That’s how it