Poison & Wine - Melissa Toppen Page 0,14
Everywhere she went you weren’t far behind, and vice versa.”
“Yeah, but a lot has happened since then. And we’re not kids anymore. She’s moved on. I think it’s about time I do the same.”
“Easier said than done I’m afraid.”
“You’re not telling me anything I don’t already know.”
“It’s probably for the best. Right now you need to focus on your sobriety.”
“Yeah,” I mutter, a long silence settling between us.
“So, you wanna see your bedroom?” Tommy makes his way to the mouth of the hallway, clearly sensing my need for a change in topic.
“Yeah.” I nod, grabbing my bag before following him to the back of the apartment. There are three doors. One on the right, which leads to the shared bathroom, with another across the hall, and the last at the end. Tommy pushes open the door across from the bathroom, ushering me in.
“It’s not much.” He flips on the light and gestures around the small square room. “I did manage to get you a bed.” My gaze goes to the full-size bed shoved into the corner next to the window in the room. “A buddy at the shop was getting rid of it. It’s not in the best condition, but it’ll be better than sleeping on the floor.”
“You didn’t have to do that. I appreciate it though.” I do a full sweep of the otherwise bare room.
“It’s the least I could do.” He shuffles his feet against the beige carpet. “In a way, I feel like it’s my fault you’re in this mess to begin with.”
“Tommy–” I start, but he instantly cuts me off.
“You were the smart one. The one that was supposed to get away. To make something of yourself. I can’t help but feel like had I not left you there with him, had I not abandoned you the way I did, then none of this would have happened.”
I won’t lie and say I wasn’t devastated when Tommy took off not long after my thirteenth birthday. Truth be told, I was angry with him for a long time over it. But as I got older, I understood why he did what he did. Our father was not an easy man to live with, and Tommy took the brunt of his abuse for a very long time. I just wish he had escaped like he wanted to instead of falling in with the wrong crowd and wasting a decade of his life to drugs. Not that I have any room to judge him, considering I did the same thing, just not for as long.
“Hey.” I step forward, placing a hand on my brother’s shoulder. “This isn’t on you. None of this is your fault. I made my own choices.”
“It was my job to take care of you.”
“No, it was your job to take care of you.”
“Guess I fucking failed at that too.” He sighs.
“We’ve made some pretty poor life choices; I’ll give you that.” I chuckle, releasing his shoulder.
“That we have,” he agrees. “But I’m hoping maybe this can be our fresh start.”
“Yeah, me too.” I nod.
“Speaking of fresh starts, I talked to Devin about getting you on at the shop. The pay is shit, and it probably won’t be that many hours, but it’s something to get you started. He said he’d see about having you come in for an interview next week.”
“You didn’t have to do that.”
“I know. But the sooner you find something to occupy your time, the better off you’ll be. Trust me, the last thing you want to do is lay around this apartment with nothing but your thoughts eating away at you. Take it from someone who’s been there.”
“Thank you.” I don’t know what else to say.
“What are big brothers for?” He gives me a lopsided grin seconds before sliding past me. “I’ll let you get settled. I have to head into work in a few. You gonna be okay here on your own?” He stops in the doorway and turns back toward me.
“Yeah. I’ll be fine. My counselor gave me information on some meetings around here. I think I might try to hit one up later this afternoon.”
He nods. “I think that’s a good idea. You just gonna walk?”
“Yeah, might as well. It’s not like I have anything else to do. Besides, I think the fresh air might do me some good.”
“Just don’t get yourself into any trouble while you’re out.” He narrows his gaze at me.
“I think I can manage to walk to a meeting and back without sticking a needle