Poison - Jade West Page 0,90

say to him when he’s trying to fuck you? Do you say stop?”

“What’s that got to do with anything?” I asked, and I was getting angry right back at him, even under my fucked up nerves.

“It’s got everything to do with fucking everything!” he raged. “Because I want to know. I asked you what is it you like so much about that piece of shit, Anna, and I want to fucking know!”

I shook my head. “It’s got nothing to do with us! I’m here because I want to give us another go!”

“And I’m telling you, I want to know why you want his fucking dick so much!”

I felt sick inside when I met his stare.

He thought I was disgusting.

He thought I was seedy, and useless, and a pitiful excuse for myself.

But it was more than that.

He hated me when I was like this and always had done.

He hated me ignoring his advice and making my own choices.

He hated me being me.

“This is about me having a prosecco, isn’t it?” I asked him. “Because I’ll have one if I want one, Sebastian. Thanks for your advice, but I’ll have one if I want one! You aren’t my childminder!”

I really did try to get up from the bed this time, and he really did push me back down hard. I squirmed, but he kept me in position, and his eyes filled with a whole fresh round of rage.

“Why do you want his fucking dick so much, Anna?” he sneered, and his hand pinned my wrists above my head.

I squirmed and bucked, but the bed was soft, and it was hard to get leverage. And then he moved. He moved fast and hard, and managed tug my dress up and yank my knickers down my legs, and I spat and cursed and told him to stop, just fucking stop! But he kept on going.

And then those knickers were up in my face. They were up in my face and he was rubbing them hard against my nose and shoving them into my mouth as I tried to fight him off.

“Does this make it better?!” he grunted. “Is this what he does with your filthy fucking knickers to make it so much fucking better?! Don’t think I don’t remember what that filthy cunt used to do to you!”

I hated that he knew. I hated that he knew everything.

I hated that I’d shared everything about my past, and my fears, and my dreams, and believed that he was going to be so fucking much to me.

I kicked out, but he pressed down harder, and my knickers were still rammed in my mouth and held tight. I was retching, and trying to breathe and trying to protest as my brain screamed to a whole new tune, but I couldn’t stop him. I didn’t have the strength.

“I’ll be the man you fucking want me to be, shall I?!” he snarled. “I’ll be your next Lucas fucking Pierce and his cunting fucking perversions, you disgusting little slut!”

I tried to scream out again, but it was muffled.

“I made you more than this!” he spat. “I worked so hard to make you more than this!”

I couldn’t cry out, just retched.

“Why won’t you fucking love me?” he hissed. “I tell you what, Anna. I’ll make you love me! I’ll be just the man you fucking need! Just keep fucking still and let me fucking show you!”

I didn’t keep still.

I didn’t stop squirming and I didn’t stop retching and trying to scream, and I didn’t stop hating the man Sebastian became when I wasn’t the woman he wanted me to be.

I’d forgotten this man.

I’d always blamed myself for this version of this man.

But not tonight.

I didn’t blame myself tonight.

Not anymore.

I didn’t stop wishing I was anywhere other than underneath the man I’d run back to because I was scared and alone and believed he wanted the best for me.

I didn’t stop knowing what was happening as he pinned me down hard and forced himself into me.

Didn’t stop begging him to stop as he slammed into me.

And I didn’t stop crying when he was done.

“Oh, quit with fucking tears,” he said, as I scrambled to tug my dress back down. “We both know you like it rough. You should be thanking me for showing you a good time for once in your sorry life.”

I rolled onto my side and pulled my knees to my chest, and I couldn’t look at him, couldn’t do anything but try to catch my breath.

“Let’s go to bed