won’t tell them we’re all getting on like a house on fire. Because it is distressing, isn’t it, however reasonable we’re all being. At the end of the day, we’ve both lost our real children. I’ve shed some tears over that, I can tell you.”
* * *
—
“THAT WENT WELL,” PETE says when we’re in the car. He waves to Miles and Lucy, who’ve come to the front door to see us off.
“Yes.”
He looks at me, alerted by my hesitant tone. “What do you mean?”
I pull my coat around me. “I don’t know, exactly. But while you were looking around, Lucy mentioned that David had been tested for a defective gene. That was the word she used—defective. I’m not an expert, but I think it means any more children we have could be at risk of being like David as well.”
Pete’s silent a moment. “I guess we should get ourselves tested, too, then.”
“She also talked about us all getting rich from the lawsuit.”
“I know. Miles mentioned it when he came to see me. That doesn’t feel right, though, does it? Suing a hospital, if we’re happy the way we are.”
“If it can help Theo’s future, maybe we should think about it. And who knows what problems David will have later on? He may need round-the-clock care. We can’t really get in their way.”
“I guess not.” Pete glances at me as he pulls up for a red light. “You found it hard back there, didn’t you?”
“Yes,” I admit. “Not them, particularly—they seem nice, and as Lucy said, we’re lucky that we’re all similar people who think the same way about this. But just now, walking out of there and leaving David behind…It felt like I was abandoning him. I keep thinking of myself in his position, being left all alone in a stranger’s house.”
“But they’re not strangers. They’re his parents.”
“We’re his parents.”
“You know what I mean,” Pete says gently. “They’re the people he loves. It’s all good, Mads. We’re going to see lots of David as he grows up, and they’ll see lots of Theo.”
“I know that’s the right thing to do. But I can’t help how I feel.” I look out the window. If I’m honest, I’m finding Pete’s insistence that not being Theo’s biological parent makes absolutely no difference a bit frustrating. Not because I disagree with the principle—love is what matters, and families aren’t made in people’s tummies but in their hearts, et cetera et cetera. But there is a genetic pull as well. It’s almost—I think disloyally—as if Pete actually relishes some aspect of this mix-up; or at least, the chance it gives him to prove that there’s nothing atavistic or proprietary about his devotion to Theo. He’s even shown me a study he found on the internet, proving that, on balance, adoptive parents take better care of their children than natural parents do.
I add, “Back there, when I first saw David and realized there was something wrong with him, just for a moment, I thought…”
“Thought what?” Pete’s voice is studiedly neutral, which is how I know he’d actually thought exactly the same thing.
“How lucky we are. We’ve ended up with…” Theo’s drifting off to sleep in the back, but even so I choose my words carefully. “Everything normal, and they’ve got something much more challenging, haven’t they? You couldn’t blame them if, right now, they’re thinking that the situation isn’t very fair.”
Pete snorts. “I doubt they’re thinking that. After all, they’re the ones with the big house, the brand-new BMW, and the live-in nanny. They’re exactly the sort of people who can take a child like David in their stride. And they clearly adore him. We should just thank our lucky stars we all see things the same way.”
15
PETE
ON THE WAY HOME I did my best to reassure Maddie, repeating how fortunate we were that this had happened to people with such similar outlooks.
And it was true—we were lucky, incredibly so. We could have done so much worse than Miles and Lucy. But even so, I could tell it wasn’t going to be plain sailing.
When he showed me around, Miles took me down to the basement—his manshed, as he jokingly called it. It was vast. The previous owners had excavated the original cellar right out under the garden. There was an air-conditioned wine room down there, a gym, even a small swimming pool.
“Wow,” I said, which seemed like the only possible reaction.
“It’s all right, isn’t it?” Miles gazed around. “But it’s only material things, Pete.