voice.
Audrey mulled it over, then ultimately nodded. “I think so. There’s a point and purpose to everything. Just look at the way the world is designed. Even nature has a point, a goal, an end.”
While he couldn’t fault her reasoning, he couldn’t accept it either. Accepting it meant that Danny had been destined to die on that hill, and that Jamie had been destined to fail when it had come to saving him. Fate? he scoffed. Then fate was an unfair bitch. He was bitter and angry and wanted to know why. Why, dammit? What possible good had come out of his friend losing his life?
Geez, God, he was losing it here. Until the past few days Jamie had done an admirable job of keeping a tight rein on his feelings. He’d put every ounce of grief, regret and anger into a neat box at the bottom of his soul and, while he’d suffer an occasional setback—nightmares, mostly—for the most part, he could go into lock-down mode and keep it together.
It was her, he realized. She was acting like a sponge, drawing to the surface everything inside him he wanted to keep hidden.
Audrey set the oars aside, leaned forward, framed his face and gave him a tender kiss. “I just gave you a painful piece of my history. Now I’m asking for one of yours. Tell me about Danny,” she implored softly.
Jamie instinctively drew back, shut down. He knew what she was doing—she was trying to fix him, but there were some things that simply couldn’t be fixed and he was one of them. She’d been doing this all week—picking, probing, question after question, trying to open him up and lay him bare. The mere thought turned his insides to ice, made bile rise in his throat.
“Leave it,” Jamie told her, a warning he hoped like hell she heeded. He set his jaw and fought back a tide of angry emotion. More horrible memories from that night rushed rapid fire through his mind, making his gut clench with dread. Leave me! You know it’s over! The backs of his lids burned.
Oh, God. He couldn’t do this.
“He was a Ranger with you, right? In the same unit?”
Jamie shoved his hands into his hair, pushing it away from his face. He glanced around and realized that she’d rowed them all the way out into the middle of the lake. No escape. Panic sent acid churning though his belly. This had been a trap, he realized suddenly. She’d done this on purpose. His gaze flew to hers. Of all the sneaky, underhanded…If he wasn’t so damned angry, he’d be impressed. Like a bear with a ring in its nose, she’d led him around all day, setting him up for this very moment.
And while this tactic might have worked on an ordinary man, it wasn’t going to work on him, he thought grimly. He’d been a United States Ranger, by God. He was like Houdini, he could find his way out of anything.
Jamie stood, inadvertently rocking the boat.
Audrey inhaled sharply, grasped the sides. “What are you doing? Sit down! You’re going to tip us over.”
“News flash, baby,” Jamie told her, his lips curled in an angry smile. “Your plan didn’t work.”
Then he leaped neatly over the side and started swimming toward shore.
She would not break him, dammit.
She would not.
His feelings were all he had left of his friend. He didn’t want to share them. And he wouldn’t.
UTTERLY SHOCKED, Audrey watched Jamie determinedly swim toward shore. When she’d concocted this trap-him-in-the-boat plan, she could honestly say that she’d never anticipated this scenario. She’d wanted to force him to open up, to let her help him. The small boat had seemed like a good choice because, logistically, it would have been hard to distract her with sex, his usual, admittedly excellent, method of shutting her up.
Her eyes narrowed on his rapidly shrinking form. This new development was a setback, but she’d be damned before she’d accept defeat. The more time she spent with Jamie, the more she knew he needed her. She could feel the ache inside him worsening. Hell, he hurt so much it made her nauseous. It was eating him up inside, Audrey knew, and the more it festered, the worse it was going to become.
She stood. “Jamie!”
When he didn’t so much as look at her, Audrey did what seemed like the only plausible thing—she jumped in after him.
The shock of cold water stole her breath, but she pressed on. She was an excellent