of you,” I grind out, “all the time.”
She goes off like a firecracker, shifting wildly beneath me and moaning into my neck. My lips turn to hers in a hungry kiss as I fuck her through her orgasm, then I lift my head and shout my own release. My body shakes as it goes on and on, violent and beautiful and far beyond anything I’ve felt before.
She goes limp beneath me, and I’m brought back from the aftermath of our lovemaking.
Wait . . . what the effin’ hell? Lovemaking?
Jaysus, what did I say to her? Love making. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Did I say the L-word?
My thoughts run circles trying to remember. Like a dog chasing its tail—and the impossible.
I don’t dare move. Or look at her. Not until I get my shite together.
Her body vibrates beneath me. It takes me a moment to realize she’s laughing. “Holy fuck, Finn.”
“Am I hurting you?” I pretend to misunderstand. Before she spies the confusion written all over me bleedin’ face, I’m on my feet and headed to the bathroom.
Dodge and evade.
Inside, I toss the condom into the rubbish bin. Wishing I could remember the rubbish that came out of me mouth. First time in seven months I shag a wan and I’m telling her what?
I want all of you.
Fate is total bollocks, isn’t it? I must be mad. Lust drunk. With a death wish.
Retreat.
Escape.
I wash my hands and return to the room. In a flurry of motion, I pull on my knickers and socks. Runners, shirt, and trousers in hand, I head for the door.
“Finn,” she calls out, confused.
“Got something to do,” I lie. “Forgot . . . in all the excitement.”
“Right now? It’s after midnight.” Not buying what I’m selling. Observant, as usual.
I’m officially an arsewipe.
A coward.
A hitman—with a job to do. Best not forget that, bucko.
I’m doing her a favor by crushing any romantic notions she may be having. Because I had to go and run me mouth. I had to go misleading her into thinking this could be something. We could be something.
“See you in the morning.” I shut the door behind me.
Leaving behind the best of me.
And the worst.
19
Clarissa
Surprises are like birthday balloons, sometimes they inspire excitement, even joy. Other times they shock you with an electrifying zing. Every once in a while, they blow up in your face. Today, Finn wrapped all of that into one mindboggling package.
Unlike the past two mornings, I wake up then have breakfast on my own. Finn is missing in action.
Ghosting me.
But why?
I sit and, over coffee, debate what to do. Do I knock on his door and wake him up? Do I discretely ask the innkeeper what time he came in last night? If he came back.
We have a job to do. Together. Or not.
I clench my fists, considering the possibility he’s moved on in our investigation alone. Leaving me to do what? Sit around, scratching my head and wondering why he’d dump and dash like a college student with a curfew?
The sex was good. Phenomenal. The. Best. Ever.
Bedside manners? Not so phenomenal.
But disappointed or not, I won’t allow Finn to sideline me. With or without him, I’ll be moving forward in digging up all I can on O’Brien.
I’m just finishing breakfast when the innkeeper enters the sunny porch and hurries over to my table. “This arrived in the post,” he says and hands me an envelope.
Finn’s name is scribbled on it in pen.
“Thank you. I’ll pass it on to him.” The innkeeper nods and goes about his business.
I wait for the man to reenter the inn before prying open the envelope.
A crude note is folded inside. Brilliant fight last night. If yer up for another go, send word. Tonight at ten. Mickey. P.S. I owe you eighty-one euros.
Finn fought? And who the hell is Mickey?
I grind my teeth together. He made a new contact without me.
So that’s how we’re going to play it? Alone and without communicating what we’re about?
Is he sidelining me while he continues the plan? Thinking I’ll be twiddling my thumbs while waiting for him to toss me a crumb?
Hell no. Think again, Finn McDuff. Two can play at this game.
Digging up information on O’Brien shouldn’t be too difficult given his mob connections. And if today is anything like yesterday, I have all day to poke around.
With a new sense of determination, I head back to my room for my satchel.
Finn’s door is partially open as I pass. And, though I try and will my feet to keep