Jagger leaned in with his phone out in front of him, and Jackson followed suit with Journey still in his arms, quickly snapping a photo. But unlike Jackson, he stayed next to her, trying like hell to keep it together. Jackson and I watched as Jagger bent over and kissed her head, letting his lips linger for a few seconds.
With tears streaming down his face, he whispered something in her ear that made her blink and shut her eyes as he continued privately having a moment with his mother.
Jackson angrily scoffed out, “Fuck this,” and tried to walk out of the room, but I grabbed his arm stopping him.
“I know you’re angry. I understand, alright? But you don’t want to do this. Trust me, Jackson, if you walk out of here and you don’t say goodbye to your mom, it’s going to haunt you forever. And I don’t want that for you. Please, son, say goodbye to your mother.”
“Don’t you get it? She’s not here to say goodbye to. There’s nothing left of the woman who loved me, took care of me, told me she’d always be here for me. She’s already gone!” He tore his arm out of my grasp, nodding over to her bed. His eyes fixed on his mother as if he just wanted to look at her one last time, and spoke with conviction, “That’s not my mom. I don’t know who that is.” Abruptly, he turned and left us with his heart in my hand and Journey in his arms.
Jagger walked over, instantly wrapping his one arm around me. Bawling his fucking eyes out on my chest.
“Shhh… shhh… I got you, son. I got you.”
“Why is this happening? Why, Dad, why?”
“I wish I knew, Jagger. I wish I knew.”
“Where is she going to go? You know she hates being alone, Dad,” he sobbed, his whole body shaking. “She hates it so much.”
“Shhh…it’s alright… it’s okay… look Journey needs you to be strong. Be the strong boy we raised.”
He nodded, sucking in his breaths. I wiped his tears with my hands, holding onto to his face when I was done.
I expressed the words he needed to hear, even if I didn’t believe them. “She’s going to a better place, where she won’t be in any pain. Where she still knows who she is, and she can watch over you.”
“You promise?”
I nodded, unable to lie to him with words.
“I love you, Dad.”
“I love you too, Jagger. You, Jackson, and Journey were all we ever wanted. I swear to you.”
He took a deep, long breath, catching his bearings. Hugging me one last time before he spun to follow his brother. Leaving me alone with Bailey.
My wife.
My beauty.
My feet moved on their own accord. I blinked and I was sitting on the edge of her bed, grabbing her hand. I don’t know what came over me, maybe it was the fact I knew this would be the last time I would speak to her, feel her, look at her…
I hunched over, laying my head on top of her shallow beating heart and broke the fuck down. Crying like a newborn baby. My chest ached and my throat burned. Hyperventilating, I sucked in air that wasn’t available for the taking.
It wasn’t until I felt her hand rubbing my back that I froze against her touch for a second.
“Beauty?” I rasped, pulling away to look into her eyes.
There was no expression on her face, no recollection in her stare, but for a moment it felt as though she was there with me. Breaking free from the madness that was wreaking havoc on her mind.
“I’m tiiiirrrreeedd.”
I caressed her pale cheek, “I know, baby, I know.”
“Slllleeeeepppp nooooooowwww.”
I tried everything inside me to keep my soul together as the love of my life said goodbye to me one last time.
I nodded, unable to find the words to tell her it was okay to leave me.
“Beeeeee heeeeerrrrreeee.”
“I’ll always be here for you, Bailey. No matter what. It’s always going to be me and you against the world, Bay. Always.”
Her eyes drifted closed and for the second time in my life, another woman who was my everything died in my arms that night.
I stayed with her until she took her last breath.
Until all the machines went crazy.
Until I died with her.
Murmuring in her ear, “Take me with you, Bay… please, just take me with you.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
<>Camila<>
“I haven’t been back here since the day we buried her. This is the first