and I was just happy I could kiss her whenever I wanted.
“Jackson, Jagger, and Journey? Now that sounds like a country band if I ever heard one.”
With a serious expression, I stated the truth, “We have a long road ahead of us, baby, but it will always be worth the journey. Because at the end of the day, it’s what leads us back to each other.”
Her eyes watered and her lip trembled.
“Promise me, Bailey.”
“I promise.” She wiped away a tear.
All our dreams came true, and now, so was our worst nightmare.
“Dearly beloved,” he declared. “We are here to join this man and this woman into holy matrimony. Do you, Aiden, take Bailey to be your wife, to have and to hold, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, from this day forward until death do you part?”
Looking deep into her eyes, I stated, “I do.”
“Now you, Bailey… do you take Aiden to be your husband, to have and to hold, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, from this day forward until death do you part?”
“I do,” she murmured with fresh tears falling from her eyes.
“Then with the power vested in me by the State of North Carolina, I now pronounce you husband and wife.”
“Dr. Pierce,” the physician stated, tearing me away from the blackhole that’d now become my life. “She doesn’t have much time left. Her organs are completely shutting down.”
I gave her everything. Every last fucking thing…
My friendship.
My heart.
My soul.
My love and devotion.
Our sons and our baby girl.
The house she turned into a home.
A family forever and ever.
I protected her when no one else would.
I loved her when no one else cared to.
She was mine from the moment she offered me her food. But none of it mattered, not one single bit of it, because in the end, she didn’t remember any of it.
Our love story.
“Her dementia has completely taken over. I’m so sorry, Dr. Pierce,” the nurse informed me, breaking my heart all over again.
It didn’t matter how many times someone talked about her illness, it was a bullet my soul took each and every time.
How do I go on without her?
When all I did was live for her.
In a neutral tone, I said to my boys, “You guys can go in first.”
They both nodded, staying strong for me. When all they wanted to do was fall apart with me.
With my mind focused on them, I leaned against the railing of the door and watched as they walked into their mother’s room in the assisted living facility.
She smiled, taking them in. I could see it in her heavy, tired eyes she had no idea who they were. Not even our baby girl, who she’d given birth to a month prior.
“Hey, Bailey,” Jagger greeted, killing me they had to call her that.
Anytime they called her mom the last few months, she became agitated and frustrated. She didn’t understand why they addressed her as that. To her, she didn’t have any kids. She wasn’t a wife.
She wasn’t anything.
Bailey Pierce was gone.
Jackson didn’t say one word. I don’t even think he was breathing while he looked at her with so much love and hate all at once.
“You look really pretty today. Do you want me to brush your hair?” Jagger asked.
She didn’t say anything, didn’t even move. There were very few words she could still say. The dementia had almost completely taken her speech away.
She was lost within herself. Staring off into space where our children were no longer her escape.
“Can we take a picture with you?” Jagger asked, tears swelling up in his eyes.
“She can’t talk to you. She doesn’t even know who the fuck we are, she doesn’t even know we’re here.”
“Jackson,” I clenched out.
“What? It’s the truth. Why are we even here? This is fucking pointless.”
“Jackson, just cut Dad a break. It’s not his fault this happened. It’s not even hers.” Jagger affirmed, pointing at his mother.
“I guess we should try to remember that. Oh wait… we may not have our memory in a few years either.”
There was nothing I could say to that. It was their reality and our truth.
“Can we just take a picture? Journey deserves to have one photo with mom.”
“Yeah, whatever. We can pretend she gives a rat’s ass about us.”
“Jesus, Jackson! Can you just stop? For our sister’s sake?”