Phoenix Flame - Sara Holland Page 0,85

say anything. He doesn’t have to. His flat-line mouth and hard eyes say enough.

“She’s my family,” I say. A bubbling feeling in my chest warns me that the tears are about to make their appearance.

“You have to consider the greater good. What’s right. Everyone is family to someone,” Brekken says. “You can’t make distinctions just because of that.”

My heart drops, plummets. “Actually—” I stand up. “I really think I can.”

Brekken stares up at me, and I feel a coldness hovering between us. And while I’ve cried in front of Brekken God knows how many times before, I really, really don’t want to now.

“Good luck at the trial,” I say, and make for the door.

Something stops me, though—seizes me, when my hand touches the doorknob. I can’t leave like this.

The trial could go sideways.

This could be the last time I ever see him.

I turn around. “What if … what if we said screw the trial?” I ask, tears thickening my voice and blurring my vision.

Brekken tilts his head, his eyes widening and softening a little, but he says nothing.

“The people who died at Winterkill are gone,” I say. Each word is painful coming up, like they have thorns, slicing at my lungs and throat. “You standing trial won’t bring them back. Myr executing you won’t bring them back, if that’s what they decide. So why not just not go?” I grip the doorknob tight, willing my words to get through to him. “Our worlds have been allied for centuries. Surely one guy can’t just upend that history. We’ll talk to Princess Enetta. We’ll figure something out …”

But my next words die on my tongue, because Brekken is shaking his head.

“It doesn’t work that way,” he says. “The way Fiordens view honor, Maddie … it’s hard to understand if you didn’t grow up with it, live and breathe it.” He draws in a ragged inhalation, and for the first time I see the glimmer of fear in his eyes. “Do you think I want to go, Maddie? I don’t. But the peace between our realms is at stake here.”

“Stay for me, then,” I whisper. “Do this for me.”

Pain crosses Brekken’s face. “Don’t make me choose, Maddie. Please.”

I keep my mouth shut. After a tense, painful moment, Brekken rises and takes one step toward me.

“I’ll stay,” he says, “if you call off your deal with the Silver Prince.”

My heart thuds, dull and heavy. Like a stone dropping to the earth. I squeeze my eyes shut. Take a deep, shuddery breath.

“I’m sorry, Brekken,” I say once I’ve gathered myself.

I hope he knows what I mean. That I’m sorry for everything. Sorry I can’t agree to that trade. Sorry he has to be the one to stand trial. Sorry for the things I’ve said tonight, especially—especially if this is the last time.

“Me too,” he says softly, and stands still and watches as I go.

22

That day passes in a blur, and nearly twenty-four hours after my fight with Brekken, the bitter taste of tears is still on my tongue when my alarm goes off in the wee hours of the morning. It’s still dark out, the moon shining through my window.

I turn over, my blankets soft and heavy around me, and think groggily of him. Something bad happened with Brekken. I wish it was just a dream.

But when I grab for my phone to silence the alarm, I know it’s not. Everything comes crashing back quickly. Brekken telling me no. Him letting me turn around and walk away.

Knowing I might never see him again.

But I can’t cry. I can’t wallow. Nahteran, Taya, and I are planning to open a doorway into Oasis out in the mountains at sunrise. We are going to confront the Silver Prince, get Mom back, and then get him to put on the counterfeit armor so that he’ll never be a threat to Havenfall again.

Aided by the adrenaline that surges through my veins at the thought, I roll out of bed, splash some water on my face to wake myself up the rest of the way, and get dressed quickly. Jeans. Tank top. Boots. Dagger. A sweater baggy enough that it’ll be able to hide a piece of the phoenix flame armor. I’d prefer not to bring the real armor at all—not let it come anywhere near the Prince—but we’ll need it to open the portal to Byrn that will allow the Prince and Mom to come through to us.

I walk quietly down the stairs, not wanting to wake any of the