Phoenix Flame - Sara Holland Page 0,84
makes my mouth dry up. He smiles at me—not quite as warm as usual, but I’m just glad I’m getting a smile—and steps back to let me in.
Despite yesterday’s horrible news about the trial, our talk seems to have eased the stiffness between us, making things feel almost normal again. Brekken’s room, though, is as clean and tidy as if it came out of a home-goods catalog, except where his blankets are rumpled and thrown back, the moonlight slanting over them. I feel my face blush and am immediately annoyed with myself.
Get it together. I came here because I had something important to ask him. Something maybe life-and-death.
“Can I sit down?” I ask, tugging at my sleeves, nervous suddenly.
“Of course. Always.”
Brekken pulls out his desk chair for me and sinks down at the edge of his bed. As he does so, his smile slides away, leaving him looking serious. He knows me too well. He knows this isn’t just a social call, as much as I’d like it to be.
When I start talking, the story spills out of me in a rush.
I tell him about Marcus’s executive decision not to negotiate with the Silver Prince and my unexpected realization that I didn’t want to give up on Mom, no matter the risk—and neither did Nahteran. I tell him about Taya’s idea of creating counterfeit armor, and yesterday’s project, all the molten metal and stolen souls.
But Brekken’s reaction isn’t what I expected. I thought he’d disapprove. Instead, his face grows more and more expressionless, and his eyes glare harder and harder. By the time I wrap up and ask him to join us for strength in numbers, I’m thoroughly unnerved. It’s as if I’m looking at a beautifully carved and painted statue.
And I never expected the words that come out of his mouth next. “Maddie, I can’t.”
“Um—” I close my mouth and ball my fists on my thighs, blindsided. I look away so that my lip doesn’t start trembling. “Okay.”
Of course, it’s not fair of me to expect him to be my knight in shining armor. Especially not before he leaves Havenfall to stand trial for a crime that was my idea. But it had never occurred to me that he would say no. Shining armor is kind of his thing. Or so I thought.
“Think it through, Maddie.” Brekken’s voice is oddly flat and cold. He’s very still. Even the moonlight seems to have retreated from the room, maybe gone behind clouds. “Training for the army in Myr, they taught us that the top officers never congregate all together in one room. Because it makes them more vulnerable to—”
“To attack, yeah, I get it,” I snap. Like the president and the VP and the Speaker of the House or whatever. I read somewhere they never travel on the same plane so that if the plane goes down, the line of succession stands. “You’re allowed to just say no, you know.”
Because I’m not the freaking president. I’m just a girl without her mom.
“I want you to understand,” Brekken says. “If I came with you and the Silver Prince killed me, Graylin would have to go to Fiordenkill to stand trial. If he killed both of us, Marcus would be without his husband and his heir. I know better than to tell you what to do, but …”
He trails off, and the silence that leaches in is heavy and suffocating.
“But what?” I prompt. My stomach is all knotted. I feel like this conversation is already fractured and headed in a bad direction. But a perverse part of me wants to see it through.
He tilts his head forward, like I really ought to understand without him having to say so. “You’re heir to the Innkeeper,” he says. “For the sake of Havenfall, for the summit, for everyone, do you ever think of developing just a bit of a self-preservation instinct?”
I dig my nails into my palms. “Is this still about Nahteran? Or do you really think I have some kind of duty to stay indoors where I’m untouchable?” My temper rises. “Maybe I should just lock myself in the closet along with the armor. Too bad I can’t fit inside a safe.”
“You know that’s not what I’m saying,” Brekken shoots back. “But also, what if the Silver Prince finds the real armor? You’ll have handed your world to him on a platter, and he’ll probably kill your mother anyway.”
“So what do you think I should do?” I growl. “Just let him have her?”
Brekken doesn’t