Phantom of the Library - Lidiya Foxglove Page 0,80
Jake said.
“Hey, you know, I really like all types of ovens,” Caleb said, desperately trying to ease the tensions and failing once again.
Kiersten and Caleb had multiple offers that day and sold over asking price, while we were still trying to figure out how to deal with our undine problem. I told my trusty Realtor and she said she could market it privately to a certain type of clientele.
“No one creepy, though,” I said.
“Helena, do you want to sell the house or not?”
“I mean…don’t you know anyone who isn’t creepy who might want to buy a house with an undine?”
“Do I know anyone not creepy who wants to buy a house with a sex slave living in the pool? No.”
“Hester! She’s not a sex slave!”
“She’s a horny nymph who kidnaps men, yes?”
“Yeeeah, but, so she’s not a slave, she’s actually the aggressor.”
“You’re right. I worded that wrong. You want a sub, not a dom.”
“I don’t want either of those things! I want a normal person! It’s a gorgeous house.”
“Don’t be judgmental about it! I think you’re being a little unrealistic about the problem. I’m just here to make you money.”
“Really rich guys who want to be dominated are usually pretty douchey,” I said. “I want my undine to get married and live happily ever after.”
Hester let out this low, slow laugh. “Oh, honey,” she said. “Call me back when you’re desperate.”
“You know what?” I said, after I hung up the phone. “Call me crazy, but I just want to put it up for sale and see what happens. If someone comes along that wants to live with our undine, then great. But I don’t think we can force it. It’s like trying to sell a duplex that already has a tenant.”
“I…guess,” Jasper said. “I think we’re going to get a lowball offer if we get anything.”
“I know you guys want to make the most money, and I’ve gotten caught up in competing with Kiersten and Caleb, but…part of the reason I was so broke is because I really prefer finding just the right buyer for a house. Someone who will cherish it and isn’t just looking for a checklist or a place to crash. That’s part of what makes me happy about this job. I’m still bothered by selling Lockwood House, which belonged to Graham’s own grandfather, to a couple I didn’t like very much. So let me give it a chance. I guess if it fails, I’ll call Hester back.”
“I agree with you, angel,” Byron said. “I have too many good memories of this house.”
“Go for it,” Graham said.
So we had an open house, and all the curious neighbors came to poke around, along with plenty of buyers who started out interested. Then, their faces would fall when they reached the grotto. It reminded me of a charming house I sold once where I bought it at auction only to find out later that the next door neighbors had four children with four noisy familiars and two loud dogs. Everyone loved the house until they heard the screaming, and I lost money.
Then Isaac came walking up with a face I recognized. “This is my grandson, Tom,” he said. “He’s a good kid but he’s really bad at keeping a steady girlfriend and he likes these types of houses.”
Tom winced at us. “I actually work in design and this is my specialty and I hardly have time for a girlfriend, but sure, Grandpa.”
“You’re Tom Atomic!” I said. “From the videos! I watched some of them while I was figuring out what to do with the house!”
“Really? That’s flattering.”
“Whoa! The video guy!?” Billie said, punching Gaston’s arm. “It’s the video guy!”
“I see that, yes.”
“I love what I see so far,” Tom said, pocketing his sunglasses. A small gesture that I appreciated—I found it respectful and discerning for a buyer to really want to see the true color of a house, although this was probably just me being picky. “This living room is exactly what I was dreaming of. I was in the house once as a kid and I remember how cool the fireplace was, and that wallpaper. I love that you saved a piece of it to frame. I’d be tempted to keep all of it, but that probably is better.”
“It was hardcore when it was a whole wall,” Jasper said.
“I remember that this room was really orange before,” Tom said. “And the kitchen…oh, yeah…the update is really nice. Do these furnishings come with the house or is this staging?”