“Make everyone leave, then call someone to dispose of the guy I just killed in front of my bedroom door.” I feel nothing and everything all at once. It’s like I’m more than high, like I’m not even in this realm anymore.
“What the fuck happened?” he asks, his tone changing dramatically. I don’t even answer him. I have no time. I need to find her. All will be well when I find her.
“Just fucking do it!” I yell on my way out. What if something’s happened to her? What if someone else got her? My thoughts are irrational, but I don’t care.
All I can think about is her…
A second away from turning the entire fucking house upside down, I run into the same chick from my bedroom...again. I’m about to throw her out the fucking door when she lifts her finger and points toward the front door.
“The girl, the one I’m assuming you’re looking for... she went that way,” whatever-her-fucking-name-is whispers.
“She went out that door?” I ask to confirm. If she’s lying to me, I don’t know what the fuck I’m going to do. She nods, and that’s all the confirmation I need.
I’m so fucking glad I didn’t have my pants off yet—for several reasons—but most being that I wouldn’t have gotten out of the bedroom fast enough to stop that fucker from hurting her. I run down the driveway, my bare feet slapping against the cold concrete.
“Sophie!” I call out into the fall air.
I stop at the bottom of my driveway, looking left, then right. Panic grips ahold of my insides, twisting them into a knot. I don’t see her anywhere. Would she just run away—away from me, from the safety I provide?
Have I hurt her so badly she’d rather risk being on her own? I exhale a ragged breath and run my hands through my hair as I lean forward, resting my arms against my knees.
Where the fuck could she have gone? Left or right? She could have gone either fucking way. I look over to the right again, feeling compelled to do so. I stare long and hard, then something catches my eyes.
It’s not much, and hell, it could be a figment of my imagination, but something moved behind a tree in one of my neighbor’s yards way off in the distance. That’s enough for me and I head off in that direction Gravel bites into the bottoms of my feet. I grit my teeth through the pain. If she’s out here, I’m going to find her.
When I get closer to the large oak tree, I slow down, not wanting to scare her if she really is hiding behind it. I hear some quiet sobs from close by and I know my suspicions are right.
I prowl around the street like a cat. I don’t want to scare her, but there’s no fucking way she’s getting away from me.
“Sophie,” I say, my voice surprisingly calm. She’s sitting with her back against the tree, her legs pulled up to her chest, her face buried into her folded arms. I kneel beside her and lay a hand on her shoulder. I know I technically don’t have anything to apologize for—it’s not like Sophie and I are an item or this is anything more than a favor for my brother—but I feel the need to do so anyway.
“I’m sorry.” The words fall from my lips, and even though I mean them, I wish I could give her more. I feel like whatever I say at this point is just not enough. I need to show her how much she means to me but I can’t do that unless I let her in...unless I let my guard down.
She lifts her head just a little to look up at me, her eyes are red and swollen and though hard to make out I see the bruise on her face. I inhale sharply at the sight, wanting to go back in time and kill the fucker all over again. An undeniable urge to wrap her up and keep her protected from everything in the world fills me, even though I know I can’t.
I might be able to protect her from others, but who is going to protect her from me? In the end, I’m the worst of all. I’ve hurt her the most today.
“I feel safe with you and all you do is push me away.” Tears stain her cheeks, and anguish saturates her words. She’s hurting, and