Perfectly Lonely - Jessica Marin Page 0,20

to go home and I’ll just keep fighting for her forgiveness until I get it.

The cab ride to her apartment building is short. I tell the driver this will be all one fare that I will pay and ask him to wait for me as I step outside of the cab to watch her walk into her building. I decide not to follow her in order to give her space and instead lean against the cab to watch her.

“Thank you for tonight, Layla.” I call out after her, wanting her to know I appreciate her for listening to me. My words make her stop before entering her building. She stays there for a few seconds before turning around and walking back toward me. My shock at her movement makes me straighten from the cab. She stops in front of me and I’m captivated once again by those blues eyes that are making me feel like she is stealing my soul. She breaks her hold over me by closing her eyes and slowly gulping. I have no idea what she is thinking but it’s obvious that she’s having some inner turmoil. She takes a deep breath and opens her eyes to look at me.

“I can recognize what you are trying to do tonight as I myself am trying to make amends with my past behavior. I appreciate your continued efforts to apologize to me.” She stops and swallows. “Therefore, I forgive you.”

“What?” I ask incredulously, not believing the words that just came out of her mouth.

She nods her head at me and squares her shoulders back. “I forgive you, Chase. The old Layla would damn you to eternal hell for deceiving me, but things happen for a reason and like you said, it did turn out for the best. Besides, I’m trying hard not to be the old Layla anymore. God knows I deserve forgiveness for my sins.” Her mouth twists up in a sad smile before continuing. “It actually feels good to forgive you and I hope that my forgiveness helps you heal on whatever journey you are on to forgiving yourself as well.”

As I continue to stare at her in utter astonishment, I realize that I truly never knew the real Layla. How could I from just our one night stand and from observing her from afar all these months?

I’m seeing a woman who I thought was weak due to her pain, but is actually strong.

I’m seeing a woman whose heart I thought was shattered, but is actually stitched up and on the mend.

I’m seeing a woman who I physically knew was beautiful, but is now confirmed to be beautiful on the inside as well.

I’m seeing a woman I want more of.

Without thinking, I react. I grab her arms, slam her up against my body and crush my mouth to hers.

Her lips are warm, soft and taste as sweet as candy. And although I have kissed these lips before, this time it feels different because I have zero ulterior motives.

This time, it feels like a home I never want to leave.

9

Layla

I can’t move as my body is in complete shock from his response to my forgiveness. I couldn’t even try to move if I wanted to as he has a death grip on my arms, holding me against him. Physical contact was the last thing I was expecting…or even wanting. His lips are firm and have the subtle taste of the whiskey he was drinking back at the pub. Being this close to him makes me feel the sculpted, chiseled muscles of his chest down to the hardness of his erection and is starting to make me ache in places I don’t want to ache. If I let him deepen this kiss, my underwear will be soaked. Warning bells are going off in my head that this is a very, very bad idea.

Chase Wilson is kissing me!

This is wrong!

He is my enemy!

You just forgave him.

Make it stop!

Why haven’t I stopped it yet?

Because you LIKE it!

That last comment from the little devil on my shoulder gets my hands to move up his chest and push with all I can muster, which is barely anything against his strong body. My resistance breaks his kiss and the trance that has overcome him.

“What are you doing? Me forgiving you doesn’t give you the right to kiss me!” I practically scream at him, not wanting him to think I want a repeat performance of our night together in Las Vegas.

‘That is complete bullshit because