“Come on, let’s get you to the bathroom, just in case.” Caelyn helped me to my feet, Bell taking my other arm to steady me.
“Geez, you were fine a second ago. What brought this on?” Bell asked.
“I don’t know.” It might’ve been all the talk of moving on from Crosby, my body’s way of vetoing that idea, but I didn’t want to admit that to Bell.
As soon as we were in sight of the bathroom, my gut pitched. I hurried inside just in time to empty the contents of my stomach into the toilet. Bell held my hair back as I heaved. I heard water running and then felt a cool cloth being placed on the back of my neck.
When there was nothing left in my stomach, I sat back on my haunches, flushing away the evidence of my sickness. God, I felt awful.
Caelyn looked worried. “I hope you don’t have the flu. Maybe it’s food poisoning. What have you had to eat in the past day?”
I thought back, searching my mind. “Nothing out of the ordinary.”
Bell was quiet as she stared at me. “You’ve been sleeping more than normal too, lately.”
“I guess so.” I had been tired recently, needing a little nap in the afternoon or going to bed super early. But that made sense with everything that had been going on. I was worn down. Emotionally and physically.
Bell’s lips pursed. “I think we need to get you a pregnancy test.”
“What? No. There’s no way.” My brain was going a million miles a minute. My period had never been exactly regular, so there was no point in tracking it. But it had been longer than usual since I’d had one… “No. It’s not possible. I’m on the pill. We used condoms.”
“Every single time?” Bell pressed.
“Yes.” Every single time—except that once in the shower. “Shit.”
Caelyn pushed to her feet. “The grocery store is still open for another thirty minutes. I’ll be back in ten.”
Blood rushed in my ears, making me feel like I was in a tunnel. “People will talk if you buy a pregnancy test.” It was one of the curses of living on a small island.
She shrugged. “Who cares. People talk about me anyway.”
Caelyn’s words made my heart clench. The last thing she deserved was people gossiping behind her back. But they had since before she’d taken custody of her three siblings all those years ago. “Thanks, Cae.”
“Anytime, sister. Be back in a flash.”
Caelyn was gone, and I leaned back against the cold porcelain of the bathtub. This wasn’t happening.
Bell gave my arm a squeeze. “Want me to help you up so you can brush your teeth?”
I nodded woodenly. I went through the motions of cleaning up in a daze, nothing really penetrating my brain. When I was done, I sat right back on the tile floor. The coolness of it seemed to help my nausea and my panic. And the last thing I wanted to do was puke on my living room rug.
I counted to ten repeatedly. I sang the alphabet backwards in my head. Anything to keep myself from going crazy with what-ifs. It wouldn’t help anything to play that game. I might just have food poisoning.
Ten minutes felt like ten hours, but eventually, Caelyn bustled back through the door. “I got three different brands so we have the best chance of accuracy. Do you think you can pee?”
I nodded. I’d force it from my body if I had to. I needed to know. Caelyn handed me a small paper bag and gave me an encouraging smile. It was the same one she gave to Ava before her soccer games, even though Ava had yet to make a goal or catch a pass. The thought made me want to laugh, but I knew I would only sound hysterical, so I choked it back.
I closed the bathroom door and searched through the bag. My hands trembled as I opened each box and struggled to hold the directions steady. I did my business, capping each test and resting them on the side of the bathtub. I opened the door and met my friends’ nervous gazes. “Can someone put three minutes on their phone?”
Bell pulled hers out and tapped the screen a few times. “Got it.”
“Thank you.” We all stood in the hallway, just staring at each other.
Caelyn reached out and twined her fingers with mine. “Are you okay?”
“Not really. I can’t think about it until I know for sure one way or the other.”