without expanding on it.
“He was,” Jessie agreed. “I’d grown to lean on him quite a lot recently. After I lost my adoptive parents, he was the closest thing to a paternal figure I had. And now I’ve lost him too. I’m pretty raw right now.”
“Yeah,” Hannah said flatly. “It’s kind of hard to process it actually.”
Jessie glanced over at Ryan, who was still standing at the kitchen counter. He gave her a reassuring nod.
“It really is,” she agreed. “When this is all over, I was planning to make an appointment with Dr. Lemmon to talk it out a bit. Would you like me to make one for you too?”
“Can I think about it?” Hannah asked. “Right now I just kind of want to get a handle on my own thoughts, you know?”
“Sure. And if you need to take the day for yourself, that’s okay. I can smooth it over at school.”
“No,” Hannah said. “I should go. I don’t want to just sit around. It’ll be good to have something to keep me busy.”
Okay,” Jessie said. “But if you find that it’s too much, you can change your mind.”
She certainly understood the urge to throw oneself into an activity to take your mind off whatever trauma was consuming you. She’d used the tactic on many occasions. But she knew it wasn’t always the healthiest choice for her. And she was even more dubious when it came to Hannah.
“I will,” the younger woman said. “But for now, I’m going to try to push through. In fact, I better shower and get dressed.”
She got up and returned to her room, closing the door firmly behind her. Jessie looked over at Ryan.
“What do you think?” she asked.
“I think that girl is going to need therapy for the rest of her life. And even that probably won’t be enough.”
*
The station was deathly quiet. Even the protesters out front, who never seemed to tire of marching with signs claiming Jessie was a racist, seemed more subdued than usual.
In the bullpen, there was little of the background chatter that usually created a constant buzz throughout the day. Most folks were seated at their desks, quietly typing away. Others huddled in small groups, whispering in hushed tones. There was a pall over the building.
This was the first time she’d been in the station since her injuries three weeks ago. But no one gave her a second glance, not even to send her the dirty looks she’d been expecting from her co-workers after the hateful social media posts that had been falsely written in her name. Everyone was focused on the man they’d lost.
Since she wasn’t scheduled to be back for another week, it made no sense for Jessie to go to her desk. Instead, she walked straight to Captain Decker’s office. Ryan matched her step for step.
To Ryan’s credit, he hadn’t even tried to dissuade her from coming in when she told him what she was doing. He must have known it would be pointless. She was going to work this case, whether she was in pain, whether skin was falling off her back, no matter what.
She was about to knock on the door when Ryan leaned over and spoke quietly.
“All I ask is that you don’t go in hot. Give Decker the benefit of the doubt. He might surprise you.”
She nodded as she rapped on the door.
“Come in,” came a weary-sounding voice.
They entered to find Captain Roy Decker seated behind his desk. Jessie hadn’t seen him in person since he visited her at the hospital two weeks ago, the day she was discharged. If it was possible, he looked even more beaten-down than he had then.
He had his usual sunken face and wrinkled brow. His hawk-like nose still protruded prominently. But his normally sharp, piercing eyes were hazy and red. And his tie had been loosened so that it dangled, almost like a necklace, around his white dress shirt. For perhaps the first time since she’d met him, he had on no sports jacket. She could tell he’d been up all night. He looked a decade older than his sixty years.
“How are you, Hunt?” he asked gently, making no mention of the fact that she wasn’t supposed to be here.
Jessie wasn’t sure if he was referencing her physical status or her emotional reaction to Garland’s death. She knew Decker was aware that the two profilers were friendly. But she doubted the captain knew just how close they’d gotten in recent months. She decided that revealing that might