me, laughing the entire time. Was she laughing at me? I remember becoming angry. She was supposed to be my friend and not a backstabbing bitch. It took me a few minutes lounging in that chair to build up my resentment toward her. She had done this to me before, with Dakota, and look how that had turned out. I downed the contents of the bottle in my hand and stood uneasily to my feet, nearly falling over. I’d already drunk too much—four bottles—and felt light-headed and dizzy. No way I was going to let myself get pushed around by her anymore.
It was time to take a stand.
I saw two kids passed out on the beach. I saw the moon high above, glimmering over the ocean’s glossy surface. There were no other kids inside the house, judging from where I stood as I looked in. A lone light shone in the kitchen. I glanced at my phone and noticed that it was 2:47 a.m. After letting myself inside the large house, I staggered drunkenly around it, muttering incoherently to myself, looking for any sign of Willow. I didn’t find her on the first floor, and so I climbed those futuristic stairs, wishing there was a bannister I could hold on to, deathly afraid that I might fall through the cracks in those steps.
At the top of the stairs, I took a deep breath and sternly lectured myself not to back down. Don’t be a punching bag, Katie. Face Willow head-on and tell her what’s on your mind. You’re better than this. You can do it.
Down the hallway I shuffled, checking room after room, switching the light on and then off when I didn’t discover the two of them together, which I half expected to do. I pictured their naked bodies intertwined, and it angered me, especially after the way Julian had hurt her that one night. Why wouldn’t Willow admit to me what Julian had done to her? That he had struck her and caused her nose to bleed? Was she in love with him? And if she was, why wouldn’t she tell me, so I could back off? Because maybe I was a little in love with him, too, although I was reluctant to admit it.
Muttering curses under my breath, I realized that I loved Willow like a sister. “Hoes B4 Bros,” she had once scribbled in her chemistry notebook before showing it to me. Thinking about it now made me laugh. I knew I would love her until one day, for whatever reason, I didn’t, whenever that day came. I also knew I could forgive her for stealing Julian away from me. To me, Julian was merely a stupid, expendable boy that I had a crush on. An indulgence that would soon grow wearisome. Or maybe that was what I told myself at the time so as not to have hurt feelings.
I remember that as I tiptoed down the hallway, I saw a set of golf clubs leaning against the wall. I randomly pulled one out of the bag and rested it over my shoulder. It was a putter, like the kind we used at the miniature golf course over in Old Orchard Beach the few times our family vacationed down there. I gripped it in my hands like a weapon. Something inside me wanted to inflict much pain on Julian. “Grip it and rip it,” Drew had once said to me at the driving range, while teaching me how to golf.
Two rooms left to search. I opened the last door to the left and was surprised to hear someone sobbing inside the room.
“Are you all right?” I asked.
“Go away,” answered a voice that was definitely not Willow’s.
Who was that? I gently closed the door and moved toward the room on the right, which was located at the far end of the hallway. Sweat poured down my forehead, and I felt dizzy from the combination of alcohol and adrenaline. Oddly, my anger had dissipated, and all I wanted now was to find a soft place to land. Then to sleep like Rumplestiltskin and wake only to discover that half my life had passed me by.
Why should I be so mad at Willow? Or Julian? It seemed silly, the more I thought about it. I had a boyfriend who cared about me. A good family that provided me with love and support, despite the fact that I felt neglected and ignored most of the time. I envisioned a decent