The man shrugged, his gaze passing over Jacqui before bending to rack the balls.
“You can if you want,” Jacqui said.
“I know. But I don’t want to.”
“You don’t have to stand here because of me.” Her hard insistence was backed by a jerk forward.
What? He tightened his hold to keep her from moving out of his arms. Where was this coming from? “Hey.” He urged her to turn until she faced him, a stubborn tilt to her chin, challenge in her eyes. “I’m here because I want to be. With you.”
She was stiff in his hold. Gone was the relaxed stance of moments ago. “Am I like them? Your other girlfriends?”
“What? No.” He answered automatically to the fired questions before he tried to catch up. “Wait. Where’s this coming from?”
“That’s what they’re all assuming though, right?” Her voice was low, meant only for him. This wasn’t about creating a scene or drawing attention to herself. The real hurt that broke through her defiance said it was the opposite. “That I’m controlling you. Made you do this party and whatever.”
Her sudden anger died then, melting behind closed eyes and slumped shoulders. She leaned forward, head bumping into his chest. Damn. His heart ached for the injustices she was taking because of his past. None of which had to do with her. This was part of the reason why he’d stayed quiet about dating her.
He cupped her face, eased it up until she opened her eyes.
“Sorry,” she whispered.
“Me too.” He placed a kiss on her lips, long and reassuring. “For my past and the stupid things I did before I met you. But that’s not on you. You’re nothing like them, which is why I love you so much.”
And there it was. Out before he could recall the words. The words he didn’t even know he could say, let alone feel before he’d met her. Damn it.
His heart hammered a cadence too fast to count as he bit his tongue, the action too late to undo his impetuous damage. She wasn’t ready to hear his love—or didn’t want to hear it. He knew that in his gut, and now he’d gone and pushed her when he’d sworn he wouldn’t.
Her withdrawal happened slowly, one firm curl of her lips at a time. The smile didn’t reach her eyes though, the brown a weak tea shade in comparison to the rich chocolate that usually shone at him. Her grip on his waist loosened, throat working.
“Hey, Jacqui,” Finn called, bounding down the stairs, oblivious to the tenuous moment he was interrupting.
Jacqui whipped around, stepping out of Henrik’s arms, grin wide when she faced her brother. “Yes?”
“Mom wants to know if you’ll play.”
She swung her head around, brows raised in question. “It’s Henrik’s piano.”
The fact that she asked him was both a cut and a balm. “Go ahead.” She should know it was okay, but she was also conscious of his past pain regarding it.
Her smile faltered before she headed for the stairs. He winced at the silent fist that jabbed him in the chest, her escape a validation of his fears. Fuck.
“Are those guitars for playing?” Finn asked him, motioning upstairs.
Henrik swallowed, forced his voice to be casual. “Help yourself.”
“Sweet.” Finn spun around, bounding back up as exuberantly as he’d come down.
Henrik watched them disappear from sight before heading to the cooler for a beer. The icy bottle numbed his hand but did nothing for his sore heart. What the hell? This whole day would be a disaster if it scared Jacqui away. If he scared her away.
Exactly the opposite of what he’d hoped for.
He gulped down a long swallow, enjoying the brief relief the cold alcohol gave. Why in the hell had he let that slip out? Here? Now? He’d known the danger. Had guessed her reaction, despite how close he felt to her.
He could almost see her departure plan playing out. Hers would be little bits at first. Her stuff slowly disappearing from his bedroom, then the excuses as to why she couldn’t come over. Last would be the “it’s me, not you” speech before she took off. Yeah, he’d seen that one too.
“Is everything okay?”
Henrik lowered his half-emptied bottle and eyed up Dan, the older brother stance clear in his squared shoulders and assessing look. “Yup. Fine.”
Dan ducked around Henrik to dig a beer out of the cooler.
“Grab me one, will you, Danno?” Colin asked as he approached.
“Me too,” Aiden chimed in, right behind him.
“Great,” Henrik mumbled before he took another drink.