humming over the cord mic and weaved through the crowded path. “How’s Sheila?”
His scoff was muffled but clear. “We wanted different things.”
“Have you moved out?”
“Last weekend.”
“Does anyone in the family know that?”
There was a pause. “It’s only been a few days.”
She tossed her bag into the backseat of her car and ducked into the driver’s seat with a shiver. The winter wind had shifted in fast after Halloween. It probably wouldn’t be long before snow fell. “So where are you staying?”
“I’m at a friend’s for now.” The evasiveness was familiar, the expert couch-surfer at play again.
“Do you need anything?”
“No.” The clipped insistence was also familiar. He was so determined to go his way by himself.
“It’s not a crime to ask for help,” she told him, cringing at what she knew was coming back.
“Ditto, Kettle.”
Right on cue. She laughed, dropping her head against the headrest. “Damn independent streaks,” she joked. “Damn our parents for raising us to be strong.”
His chuckle wavered through the line. There was a pause. “So you’re okay?”
“Always.” Her canned answer came out reinforced with belief.
“And Henrik?”
Her laugh filled the car. “This persistence would be better directed at a different female.”
“But I don’t worry about another female.”
Oh, Aiden. Her heart pinched for the pain he hid so well. “I’m fine.” Her voice had lowered with her own fears that were edging forward. December was only a month away. October had flown by while she’d been distracted by Henrik, who’d slowly and patiently wormed his way into her life.
The silence said what neither of them could voice. For now.
Eight years they’d all been living with that over them. Eight years of waiting for the next anniversary and possible news of yet another battle with the stupid disease called cancer.
“So.” He coughed. “Are you happy? I can ask that, right?”
She squeezed her eyes tight, holding back the guilt and anger and sorrow that burned her throat. Happy. She tried to live in that state as much as possible. Stay in the moment and not stress about what she couldn’t change. Yet lately she’d been wondering how true that was. Henrik was changing everything when she’d been content with the same for years. Now though, now she was seeing exactly how empty the same was.
She swallowed, searched and came up with the truth. “Yes. I am.”
“But...” He let the word drag out.
“But...” She opened her eyes to stare at the rows and rows of empty cars, all waiting to be filled with people, life. “Is it fair to him?”
“Jac—”
“Really, Aiden. Is it fair to bring him into my life when I’m such a risk?” Was it fair to either of them?
“You haven’t told him then?”
Her sarcastic bark stabbed at her guilt. “Why would I? It’s just sex.”
“Jacqui!” His outrage blasted through the line.
“What? I can’t do casual sex because I’m a girl?”
“No!” His growled denial raked over her irritation. “You can’t do it because you’re my sister.”
“Weren’t you the one who was just reminding me of my shortened fertility life?” Damn chemo. There was always adoption, something she’d accepted as likely long before she’d left her teens. Babies were not a reason to hitch herself to a man.
“I hope to God you’re not fucking him for a baby,” he said, eerily aligning with her own thoughts, but in the opposite way.
“What? Oh my God!” Anger and outrage ignited at once. “I don’t... You’re such...” she floundered, hurt rushing in to choke her.
A deep sigh came through, along with a garbled curse. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t,” she spit out. “Just...don’t.”
“Jac—”
“No! I have to go.” She wiped at the tears that’d slid down her cheeks. “I’m going to be late for work.” Her quick blast of rage deflated in a slow drain of disappointment that Aiden would really think that low of her.
“Damn it. Jacqui.”
“Bye, Aiden. Call if you need something.” She ignored the exasperation in his voice and ended the call. She jerked her earbuds out with a sharp tug, chest aching. Damn him. Her phone landed on the passenger seat with a soft thud. Damn him.
She slammed her palm against the steering wheel, did it again. Damn him. The jab of pain worked up her arm to siphon away the one throbbing in her heart.
Why’d he have to do that? She’d felt so good after talking to Henrik. Shocked at her boldness, but loving who she could be with him. For him. Because yes, he wanted the control from her. Needed it, maybe.