my mother would get up before everyone else and make a breakfast spread. French toast casserole, small ham steaks and rolls, and another casserole which had ham, eggs, cheese, onions, and hash browns in it. The smell would always wake us up.”
“And you’d sit at the table to eat together?” I asked, trying to imagine having something like that. My childhood had definitely been different from hers.
“Not exactly. Mom would put it all out on the dining room table, like a buffet. We’d grab a plate and get whatever we wanted, then find a spot in the living room. My dad would put on one of those Burl Ives animated movies like Rudolph. I think they were Claymation or something. Anyway, we’d watch it while we ate and after everyone finished and we’d taken our dishes to the kitchen, we’d claim a spot in the living room again and Mom would pass out the presents.”
“That sounds pretty great,” I said.
“It was. I miss those days sometimes, but I think…” She worried at her lower lip. “I think everything that happened changed me in a way that made me better. The MaryAnne from before wouldn’t have thought about anyone else this time of year. I’d have been too busy trying to talk Mom or Dad into some expensive present or something. I’m not saying I’m glad I went through all the pain and humiliation, but I do think it had a positive effect on me as a person. I had to have ugliness and darkness touch me to realize what I had before.”
I reached over and placed my hand over hers. “Little Bit, you were always remarkable. You just hadn’t had time to grow into the woman you were supposed to be. You were still a kid when those bastards kidnapped you. The fact you survived, and came out even stronger than before, makes you one badass lady.”
She gave me a slight smile. “Guess I’d have to be for someone like you to want to keep me. If anyone in this relationship is amazing, it’s you.”
I sighed and leaned back. Before I could say anything, our food arrived, and Beth topped off our drinks. I waited until she’d walked off before I decided to tell MaryAnne a little more about my past. We hadn’t really discussed me much.
“I didn’t have a home like yours. My dad was a drunk. A mean one. When I was eleven, he walked out and didn’t come back. We found out two days later he’d been so plastered he’d stepped in front of a moving car. His wallet had been knocked so far away from him, it hadn’t been found right away. As soon as he’d been identified, they knocked on our door to give us the news.”
“Oh, Ronan.”
I should have corrected her, since we weren’t alone, but she’d said it soft enough no one had heard. I never told anyone about my past. I didn’t want their pity -- or worse, having them think I used it as an excuse.
“Mom worked twice as hard, trying to pay the rent on our trailer and keep food on the table. Some weeks we didn’t quite make it and went hungry. Others we had a little extra if she got nicer tips. I’d just turned eighteen when she passed away. Doctors said her heart gave out. I think she held on just long enough for me to officially be an adult.”
“I’m so sorry.”
I shrugged a shoulder. “Long time ago, Little Bit. Anyway, I joined the Army. Fulfilled the terms of my contract and decided I was tired of following orders. Drifted a bit until the Hades Abyss took me in. Our chapter is pretty new. I was with the original charter in Missouri until this one started up. I volunteered to come with Titan.”
“The compound here seems too well put together to be so new,” she said.
“It’s new compared to the Missouri chapter. Titan has built it up a lot just in the last few years.”
She eyed her sandwich, then picked up her knife and fork, cutting into it. I had to admit, picking it up wasn’t an option. The chicken and stuffing spilled out of the sides and the gravy pooled under it. As we ate, I tried to think of ways to make Christmas feel more like the ones she’d had before. Neither of us would be going to visit family on Christmas Eve, but we could start our own tradition.
“I have an idea,” I said.
She