you two together. There’s no one else he would trust to step in and be a dad to Zoey than you.”
“I don’t want to take his place.”
“Son, in a lot of ways, you already have.”
To that I have no response. She’s right, but she isn’t. I get her meaning, even if it’s only partly true.
“I haven’t.”
“You have, and that’s okay. That’s the way it’s supposed to be. That’s what Chris would have wanted. Let go of the guilt and enjoy the future you have set in front of you with Zoey and Addy. That’s the way it’s supposed to be,” she repeats.
“It’s not that easy,” I admit.
“Nothing worth anything is ever easy, Beau.”
This is true.
She’s definitely right about that.
And I hope she’s also right about everything else.
“We’re taking Zoey to the pool this afternoon.”
“Oh, good.” She laughs and I can picture her eyes light up while she shakes her head. “Then the town will have something to gossip about seeing as I know you’ll be staring at Addy and everyone will talk.”
“Exactly what I’m afraid of,” I murmur.
“Don’t be. Who cares what they think? Only you and Addy know the truth and that’s what matters. I imagine most of the gossiping will be because you’re back in town and all the single women are probably hoping for a chance at my handsome son.”
I make a disgusted sound in my throat. “Can we please not talk about that?”
“I’ve noticed. Pretty impossible not to. When you’d visit and we’d go to eat or anywhere in town, really, it was as if they had GPS tracking on you and they’d find you.”
“Please, God, can we stop talking about this?”
“The men, they’d do the same with Addy.”
I growl. “Mom.”
“Just saying. You two will be breaking a lot of hopeful hearts. But that’s okay because they don’t realize that they never had a shot.”
I smile even though the conversation kind of makes me want to throw up. Mainly because it’s my mom and while I noticed women staring at me, I really don’t like that she noticed as well.
“We’ll drop Zoey off after the pool.”
Luckily, she doesn’t go back to talking about anything we talked about in the last ten minutes. “Okay. What are you doing today then?”
“Surprising Zoey with showing her my new house. Richard has some kittens in one of the barns and I think she’ll love playing with them.”
“She will. Have fun and we can’t wait to see it, too.”
“Soon,” I promise her.
“Love you, Beau. I’m happy for you. Are you happy?”
“Happier than I’ve ever been and considering what transpired recently, feeling like I’d never again be happy after Chris died, I’m not taking it for granted.”
“Yeah,” she says quietly.
We tell each other goodbye and I take the quickest shower of my life considering that I’ve now left Zoey alone for over ten minutes after I left her alone for ten minutes because I was busy sucking face with her mother.
When I emerge from the bathroom freshly showered and dressed, I find Zoey in her room, Macaroni next to her as she plays at a pretend kitchen.
“You take long showers,” she says when she notices me.
“Sorry.”
She shrugs. “It’s okay. I like to sit in the bath for a long time, too.”
“Ready for your surprise?”
She nods and stands up. “What is it?”
“How about you get dressed. Wear something Mommy won’t get upset if you get dirty. I’ll tell you on the way.”
“Yay! I’m excited!” she cheers, standing up and moving quickly to her dresser. She pulls out a drawer and finds a pair of cotton shorts and I help her find a shirt that doesn’t look like it’s meant for only nice occasions. Luckily for me, Addy dresses Zoey the same way she dresses herself. Casual and comfortable and nothing too fancy. She strips down to nothing right in front of me and I turn my head, not sure if that’s allowed even though she’s my niece and she’s only five.
When I see her dump her dirty pajamas in her hamper, I turn around. “Ready?”
She shakes her head. “My hair.”
“What about it?”
She places a hand on her hip and juts it out. “Unca Beau. It’s messy.”
“Oh. Right. Do you have a brush or something?”
Zoey huffs like I’m an imbecile and grabs my hand to lead me to the bathroom I was just monopolizing. Like a practiced pro, she pulls open a drawer at the bottom of the vanity and finds her brush and some spray and hands me both.