Fuck me, but I have so many things I want to do to her. With her. For her.
“Look, Mommy! Unca Beau’s here!”
She whirls around as if she’s been caught.
“Hey.”
She sighs and I swear it’s breathy when she says, “Hey back.”
I’ve never wanted Zoey to disappear in my life until this moment. Not disappear completely, obviously. I’m not an asshole. Just… make herself less present for a few minutes.
“Grabbed everything for supper.”
“And cupacakes!” Zoey shouts. I love the way she mixes up the pronunciation of words. Adorable.
“You been snooping through my bags, Squirt?”
She shakes her head, trying to look innocent but she’s anything but. I grab her around the waist and lift her up, blowing a raspberry on her soft belly. She giggles and wiggles in my hold, shouting my name. “Unca Beau! It tick… it tickles!” The words are barely understandable as she moves around in my arms, laughing the entire time.
My gosh she’s cute.
A little mini of Addy, but there’s plenty of Chris in her, too. And even though it makes me jealous, I wouldn’t have Zoey any other way.
“What do you think, Mama? What should we do with her for being such a snoop? Make her eat upside down?” I ask, flipping her over and holding her upside down by the ankles.
“Oh, that’s a perfect idea!” Addy zooms over next to us, tickling her belly gently all while little belly laughs roll through Zoey, Addy, and myself.
We’re all breathless by the time I set Zoey down on her feet, but she doesn’t go far.
“I love you, Unca Beau,” she says, hugging me around the legs. I lift Zoey back into my arms so I can give her a hug and whisper back, “I love you, too, Zoey. So much.”
Addy’s soft look almost does me in when she takes in the two of us and I can’t stop myself from pulling her in, too. With one arm under Zoey’s butt, I hold Addy around the shoulders by my other arm and kiss the side of her head.
Zoey gets tired of the hug-fest long before I do and not so subtly demands to be set down and runs to play with Macaroni. Before Addy can leave me also, I hug her alone, loving the feel of her softness in my arms. “I got something I want to talk to you about after Squirt goes to sleep.”
She looks up at me, chin resting on my chest. “Good stuff or bad stuff?”
“Good.”
“Well, I have something I want to talk to you about, too, so it works out.”
“Good stuff or bad stuff?” I ask, repeating her question.
“Good. I think.”
There’s heat in her eyes and with the way she’s touching my arms, as if she can’t not touch me, and hope flares in my chest that maybe she’s on the same path as I am.
“Addy…” I lean my head down so our foreheads are resting against one another and breathe her in. She always smells so good. A mixture of the flowers she’s been arranging all day and her own unique sweetness. I bet she’s sweet everywhere. My mouth waters just thinking about it. She shudders under my touch, almost like she knows what I’m thinking. “Damn, I hope your good stuff is the same as mine.”
She nods her head against me and I give her waist a squeeze. She stumbles just enough that it gets her closer to me. Closer isn’t enough. The need to become one with her is almost more than I can bear. Addy’s everything I ever wanted and for the first time in my life, I feel like she’s within reach. Like maybe it’s finally our time.
One hand travels slowly up my arm and over my shoulder until it settles against my neck. Her thumb slides over my chin, barely grazing the edge of my mouth. Her eyes watch her own movement until slowly they rise, connecting with me.
“Beau.” I breathe in my name from her lips and it fills me with so much need and want. It’s caveman-like. I understand why stories are told of them throwing their women over their shoulders and tossing them into a cave so they can have their wicked way with them.
Macaroni barks and scratches at the door, breaking the moment. We jump apart like we were just caught doing something wrong but I can’t allow the thought to settle in. Nothing about being with Addy is wrong and I finally get that.