to hazelnuts. You know that chocolate hazelnut spread that your mom used? I had some a few years ago for the first time and this happened. It was the first time I’d ever realized I had an allergy to hazelnuts.”
“Why didn’t I know this?”
“I never told anyone.”
“Fuck, Addy. You could have died. Do you realize how scared I was? It almost killed you because we didn’t know.” Realization dawns and he sits back, resting his forearms on his knees. “I can’t believe I didn’t know this.”
“I’m sorry. I should have told you.”
“Nothing to be sorry for, baby. I’m just glad I was here. Fuck, Addy, what if I wasn’t here?”
“But you were and I’m okay. I’m okay.”
He holds me tight before allowing me to relax in his arms. “Wait. I didn’t even see you eat one.”
“I had two,” I admit sheepishly. “After I brought out the pizza box. They were delicious and I noticed there was something a little different than typical but I didn’t know why.”
He stands up and helps me do the same, holding my hands. He hugs me tightly then moves us so we’re lying down on the bed next to each other. He wraps his arms around me and I lay my head on his chest while he rubs my back. “Holy shit. I’ve never been so terrified in my life. For real, Addy. I need you to promise me that you’ll never do that to me again.”
“Promise.” I slide my hand over his waist and nestle in even though it’s not as if I can promise such a thing. Chris is proof that no one knows what’s in our future.
We hold each other for a while. He seems to need that confirmation that I’m here and I’m healthy. And most importantly, I’m okay.
And when I fall asleep, it’s with his arms wrapped around me.
I only wish I’d woken up the same way.
Chapter Ten
Beau
“It’s perfect.”
Richard Noosma stands in the barn with a proud but sad smile aimed at me and I look around a little more, relishing in the distinct smell of poo that lingers. Strange that it’s comforting. The smell of shit normally isn’t. But it isn’t offensive or overpowering. Maybe that’s because Richard hasn’t had animals on this farm beside cats and dogs in almost five years, from what he tells me.
This morning I woke up once again in Addy’s guest bedroom after leaving her a few hours after she fell asleep and I had made sure that she was healthy and through the reaction. I was scared out of my mind and didn’t want to leave her, but I also wasn’t sure what she was ready for and definitely didn’t want to make anything worse for her.
She doesn’t know what I was set off to do today, we simply parted ways when she was ready to go pick up Zoey from Mom and Dad’s.
Simply parted might not be the right wording. It was more awkwardly parting ways as I resisted giving her a kiss goodbye and she laughed uncomfortably. We got into our vehicles barely looking at one another. It’s never been weird between us and I hate it. It’s time to get us back to normal. I hate the idea of living the rest of my life being only Zoey’s uncle and Addy’s friend, but that’s the way it’s going to have to be.
It’s either a lifetime of me skating around the fact that I want her with every cell in my body, or moving forward knowing that I can’t risk our friendship. Whatever awkwardness that happened this morning was because of the way I was behaving last night. Getting too close. Touching too often. Being too intimate. Crossing lines.
Richard’s voice brings me out of my thoughts. “I hoped you’d think so. So, you’ll take it?”
I look around once more and rub the stubble on my chin. “You’re sure you want to sell? It’s your family home, after all.”
“I can’t stay here much longer. My health just can’t handle it, you know? My son, he doesn’t want it. What good would it do him, living in Seattle, you know? He wouldn’t be happy here. And I’m ready to move on.”
One more look around and I find myself nodding. “If you’re sure, if you promise me you’ve spoken to him first, then yes, I’ll take it.”
He blows out a breath and adjusts the cap that’s resting on his head. The one that looks like it’s been with him for decades. Beneath the cap,