my pajamas and wash my face, brush my teeth, use the toilet, and stop in my tracks when I see Beau standing in my bedroom, sans shirt.
“Thought I’d come say goodnight.”
I nod. “Good night.”
He licks his lips and allows his eyes to trail the length of my legs. I’m not naked but the way he’s looking at me right this second, I might as well be. Something between us is shifting, the relationship we once held is different than it was. When his eyes meet mine, desire radiates. Or maybe that’s my own.
Holy shit. My bedroom isn’t small, but with Beau’s large frame stealing so much space, it feels tiny. I swallow hard and take a step closer.
He does, too, and when we’re directly in front of each other, he slowly lifts his hands, gripping my upper arms.
“Addy,” he whispers, looking down at me. It’s his turn to swallow hard and I know that he can see the swell of my breasts from where he’s standing. I wonder if he can see the hardness of my nipples, too.
I stare at him, because I can’t tear my eyes away from his bare chest or the look in his eyes.
“You’re so beautiful, Addy. Have I ever told you that?”
I shake my head but it’s a lie. He has told me that before. Just not in the way I think he means right now.
“I should have.”
My tongue begins to tingle and my head feels fuzzy. I try to take a deep breath to calm my racing heart but I can’t. Then my tongue begins swelling inside my mouth making it impossible to speak, much less breathe easily.
“Say something,” he begs.
But I can’t.
I can’t speak.
And it’s not because I’m struck speechless because of being around him while both of us are half naked.
No.
It’s because I’m having some sort of allergic reaction and not only is my tongue swelling but I can’t catch a breath.
I gasp and gasp again.
Nothing helps, though.
“Addy?”
I shake my head and bend over, trying to take in a deep breath, but it’s useless. I’ve only experienced this one other time and it was terrifying to say the least. I can’t breathe no matter what I do.
“Addy!” he shouts, eyes fearful and voice high and worried.
I grip his arm and do my best to look at him.
“Pen…” I manage to say, and point to the bathroom.
“Pen? What? What’s happening, Addy?” His eyes are darting between mine, pure panic in his eyes. I don’t blame him. I’m feeling a lot panicked myself.
“Epi… pen…” I tell him and he somehow understands what I was trying to say even though the words are barely able to be heard. He helps me sit down on the floor and runs to the bathroom. I hear drawers and cupboards opening and slamming shut, things being strewn all over the room until he finds what he’s looking for.
“This is it. I found it. Right?” he says loudly, bringing it to me. Luckily, he’s right and he found my EpiPen. I nod my head to let him know that he’s got the right thing. “I don’t know what to do. Tell me what to do!”
I point to my thigh and take the pen from his hand, showing him what he’s supposed to do. He watches closely and quickly follows my instructions before jamming it into my thigh and pushing the button to inject the adrenaline into me. He holds me, my head cradled against his chest as the medicine works its way into my system. He rubs his hand up and down my arm and whispers, “don’t leave me, breathe for me, baby, you got this” over and over.
After a few minutes, I start to regain my breath but it’s uncomfortable.
Beau doesn’t release his hold on me. “Come on, Addy. Breathe deep. Just don’t leave me, okay? You can’t.”
“I’m okay,” I tell him but I’m not entirely. Better, yes. But far from a hundred percent.
“Fuck,” he says, blowing out a breath and bringing me even tighter to his chest. “I thought… holy shit. What was that?”
Once I can breathe easily again, I put a little bit of space between us. “Hazelnuts.”
His eyebrows scrunch together in confusion. I get it. He didn’t know of my allergy. “What?”
“The bars, I think they had hazelnut chocolate in them.”
“I don’t understand. I mean, they did. Mom said she added that chocolate hazelnut spread in the fudge this time. But you’re not allergic to anything.”
Shaking my head, I explain, “I discovered I have an allergy