Sadie’s slender shoulders shrug and she purses her lips, looking out at the mountains. “Oh, you know me, I’ll do my thing. Keep on keepin’ on. I just want to find a way to dance, that’s all.”
I have one more week with her before I leave for college three hours away. It’s not enough time, though, it might never be enough time. Forever with her seems about right. Maybe I do love her. I couldn’t be thinking about spending the rest of my life with someone and not be in love, right?
I scoot closer, heart racing. I want so badly to thread our fingers together, have the right to kiss away her fears that we don’t belong together. Assure her that college won’t change things because in my mind, they won’t. I might be leaving but I’ll come back often. “I won’t be far.”
Her voice takes on a sad, resigned note and she sighs. “Yeah, Reed. You will.”
“Sadie…”
“Reed, you’ll go to college and meet new people and go to parties. You’ll be busy living a different kind of life, and that’s okay.” She rushes to add the last part and I know she’s saying it as much for me as she is for herself. “It’s what’s supposed to happen.” She’s daring me to argue but I won’t. A part of me knows it’s the truth, even if I don’t like it. That’s what college is about, besides learning, of course. She looks at me with a wry grin and nudges my shoulder. “Besides, every single woman on that campus is going to take one look at you and freak out.”
“You saying I’m nice to look at?” I tease and now it’s her turn to roll her eyes.
“I’m not here to stroke your ego. Go grab Miss Prom Queen for that.” The look on her face can only be described as a sneer when she mentions Victoria. Who, in all fairness, is one of the sweetest girls in the school and has never, at least to my knowledge, treated Sadie with anything but kindness. Aside from showing a little jealousy because of how close Sadie is with me. Which means that if Sadie doesn’t like her, it has nothing to do with Victoria herself, but rather the feelings Victoria has for me.
It might not say much about me, but I love that she’s jealous. Love that she gets a little taste of me having to watch guys fawn all over her for years. Even had to endure the hell of standing by as she dated that dickweed Billy Richardson for a torturous five months, two weeks, and four days. Yup, like a complete creeper, I counted it down and did my best to be the supportive friend when she cried over their relationship ending.
Maybe there’s a reason I’m still a virgin while I’m getting ready to go off to college. She’s it for me. My one. My only. I can’t give myself to another woman when my heart has been tangled up in someone else for as long as I can remember. My friends give me shit about it all the time. Girls throw themselves at me at parties and get annoyed when I turn them down. But I don’t care. Not one single bit. Because my heart was gone for her the day I saw her for the first time during our freshman year. She’d just moved to our small town, the one I’ve lived in since I was born. New kids moving in isn’t common here so they’re always under a microscope, everyone trying to figure out the kid shaking up our normal and Sadie was no different. Though, I’m pretty sure no one paid as close attention to Sadie Jones as me.
Fuck me. I am in love with her. A large part of me knew it, but I guess I was holding back from admitting it to myself because the thought of her not feeling the same way scares me to death. I feel my lips tip up in a smile, even as my stomach ties in knots.
I’m in love with Sadie Jones.
I almost laugh out loud for not understanding what my feelings for her meant. The warmth that would fill me every time she was around.
My grandpa used to always say something about risk and reward and not complaining if I don’t throw my hat in the ring. Dad always said he was a really philosophical man and most of the things he talked about always