bucks and like shit at the same time. She was nervous climbing in, kept saying she had never seen such a nice vehicle in all her life and was looking around the small cab in awe. Then she pissed me off when she tried to say that it was too nice “for the likes of her”.
“I know, but I think you forget the truth too often.”
“And your truth isn’t truth at all,” I return hotly.
She sighs and drops her head. Frustrated with me, like usual when I snap at her for thinking I’m too good for her. Or rather, that she’s not good enough for me. In her mind she’s convinced herself that us being friends is, on some level, wrong, as well. It’s an argument we’re well versed in. “Reed…”
I hold up a hand to stop her and she clamps her lips shut. “Just stop, okay? I can’t hear it again. This skewed version you have of yourself.” I know she can hear the anger in my voice but I can’t help it.
Sadie blows out a breath and closes her eyes briefly. When she opens them, I’m so glad that they aren’t filled with tears. “Let’s not fight. Not tonight. I just want to sit here and look at the mountains and feel the cold air on our skin. I just need this. To forget about everything.” She points in the direction of town, indicating home. “Forget about what divides us.”
Irritation pricks at my skin and I want so badly to call her out on mentioning the division again. Instead of telling her she’s wrong, I tell her the ultimate truth. My truth. I turn so I have her attention, her brown eyes colliding with mine. They sparkle with unshed tears. “Sadie, I don’t care that you live in a trailer or that your family is on food stamps.”
“It’s not just that,” she argues weakly.
“It is.” I shake my head, scoffing. “You have this crazy idea that there’s this line that’s drawn just because of how much money our families have but you’re forgetting the most important part.”
We’re both staring out at the incredible landscape around us. I cannot begin to imagine what it would be like to live anywhere but Lakeside, Montana. It has everything that I love most nestled right into this little pocket of paradise. Including Sadie Jones. Flathead Lake alone is enough of a draw and because over sixty years ago my grandfather purchased the ground my family’s summer home now currently sits on, I’m fortunate enough to walk twenty feet to the crystal clear waters whenever I stay there. The lake might be cold most days, but its beauty makes up for it. For me, it’s the perfect place to live. It has everything an outdoorsy guy like me could ask for, and I take advantage of the Big Montana Sky as often as I can. My grandfather was a cattle rancher and my father joined in with him. The plan is for me to go to college, get a degree in business, and come back and continue the tradition. It’s what I want, not what’s expected of me.
“You ready for college?” she asks, shifting the focus from her, or us, to me. She purposely doesn’t acknowledge that I was about to tell her what the most important part is. I want to promise her she’ll never lose me. That no matter what differences she sees between us or space that separates us, I will never leave her side. I will always, no matter what, be there for her. What I feel for her matters more to me than what anyone else on this earth thinks of either of us.
She does this often. Deflects. I hate it. So much so that my fists clench next to my thighs and I feel my hackles rise. Why can’t she see what we could be together?
“No,” I huff.
“Why not?”
Because she’s not joining me and I have no desire to leave here. If I could, I’d stay forever and work at the one gas station in town if it meant that I had her by my side. Of course, she’d have to want more than friendship with me for that to happen. In my mind, it wouldn’t matter if we didn’t have money because we’d have each other and that would be enough. But if I did that, if I sacrificed — her word, not mine — my future for her, she’d never forgive me. She’s told me