Passing as Elias - By Kate Bloomfield Page 0,51

Merrill would love her no matter what her gender was. After all, was it not Elizabeth’s personality that she had fallen for?

Elizabeth still refused to show her body to Merrill, something that seemed to deeply upset her. Merrill had been completely naked in front of Elizabeth many times. Merrill wanted to make love, and she expressed this desire almost every night. It seemed to hurt her feelings when Elias declined.

‘Do you not find me attractive?’ She asked almost every night.

‘I find you extremely attractive.’ Elizabeth would reassure.

‘Do you not think this will last?’ Merrill said, ‘Us, I mean.’

‘I wish it would last forever.’ Elizabeth said honestly, embracing Merrill.

‘If you wish it to last forever, then why do you not want to make love?’

‘Because we are not married.’ Elizabeth had used this excuse too many times to recall.

‘But if we plan to stay together … what is the point in waiting?’

Elizabeth felt sick every time the talked about sex. The lie had grown so big that it was taking over her life. She dreaded the day that Merrill would grow tired of waiting. However, Elizabeth knew that they did not have much time left together. Eventually, she would have to get rid of Elias, and return to her normal life, for five months had passed since Captain Greenwood left for sea. Within thirty days he would be due to return. How would Elizabeth break the news to Merrill? Would she cry? Would she beg to go with Elias?

It was a Wednesday morning when Elizabeth woke extremely early, and decided to make her way to the apothecary without Merrill. She left her lover snoring gently in bed, and made her way downstairs. Elizabeth felt she needed time alone to think about how she must end it with Merrill. She did not wish to do it, and kept telling herself that they could run away together, however, Elizabeth could not keep the secret of her gender hidden forever. Eventually, Merrill would want to make a life together, a life that would include marriage, and children. This was something Elizabeth could not offer her.

She had decided to do it that night. She would tell Merrill that she was leaving, heading overseas due to a job offer in another country. She did not wish to dwell upon Merrill’s reaction.

The day passed too quickly for Elizabeth. Merrill arrived early to the apothecary, wondering where Elias had gone. She expressed dislike for being left in bed while Elizabeth made her way to work. Elizabeth apologized, and simply stated that she needed to get a little bit of work done.

‘You looked so peaceful, I did not wish to wake you.’ She had said.

They flirted throughout the day, smiling, brushing against each other, and teasing one another in good spirit. Customers did not notice the electricity that flew between them, but Elizabeth could certainly feel it. Every time Merrill touched her it was like receiving an electric shock. She dreaded the end of the day, when she must reveal to Merrill that Elias would be leaving the town. She would tell her that Elias’ sister, Elizabeth, would be taking over the apothecary. She did not need to know the whole truth. This way, Elizabeth thought, perhaps she could get Merrill to fall in love with the real her. After all, they were the same person. If she did not like Elizabeth for who she was, then at least Elizabeth would be able to spend the day around the woman she loved so dearly.

Six o’clock came. Elizabeth drew the curtains, and flipped the sign upon the door. Merrill was in the laboratory, organizing jars of herbs into alphabetical order. When Elizabeth entered the laboratory, Merrill looked up and beamed.

Elizabeth sat down at her desk and watched Merrill work. Her heart was heavy with dread.

‘Merrill.’ She said in a rather shaky voice, ‘Come and sit.’

Merrill complied, but did not sit upon a chair. Instead, she sat upon Elizabeth’s lap and wrapped her arms around her neck.

‘I guess that will do.’ Elizabeth said with a smile as Merrill kissed her nose.

‘Shall I come over tonight, Sir?’ Merrill said with a smirk, kissing Elizabeth’s neck.

Yes, Elizabeth wanted to say.

‘No.’ She said, swallowing hard.

‘No?’ Merrill repeated, ‘Do you have much work to do?’

‘No.’ Elizabeth said again, closing her eyes as Merrill kissed her neck again.

‘Do you wish some time alone?’ Merrill whispered.

No, Elizabeth wanted to cry. She wanted to throw Merrill to the floor right then, kiss up and down her body, and make