pages later, the Bible says—or shows—something completely different.”
“Every time any god is accepted by a new group of people, that god changes,” Harry Balter said.
“I think,” Marta Figueroa Castro said in her gentlest voice, “that the verses you read, Marc, mean that God is always God, always there for us, always dependable that way. And, of course, it means that God and God’s word will never die.”
“Yes, so much of the Bible is metaphor,” Diamond Scott said. She, too, spoke very gently. “I remember that my mother used to try to take it absolutely literally, but it just meant she had to ignore some things and twist others.” Beside her, Jorge smiled.
The discussion went on for a while longer. Then other people began to take pity on Marc. They let him end the discussion. They had never been out to humiliate him. Well, maybe Jorge had, but even Jorge had been polite. Things would have gone better for Marc if he had done his homework, and things would have been more interesting and involving for his audience. He might even have won over a Faircloth or a Peralta. I had worried about that.
The truth is, I let him speak today because I wanted him to speak before he was truly ready. I wish I hadn’t had to do that. I wish he had wanted to do something else—anything else—to get his self-respect back and begin to rebuild himself. I have tried to interest him in the several kinds of work we do here. He isn’t lazy. He pulls his weight. But he doesn’t like fieldwork or working with animals or trading or teaching or salvaging or carpentry. He tried repairing salvaged tools, but it bothered him that he had so much to learn even about simple things. He all but ruined a pair of heavy-duty shears that he was supposed to be sharpening. He tried to grind their almost square edges to thin, sharp blades, and Travis gave him the chewing out he deserved.
“If you don’t know, ask,” Travis had shouted. “Nobody expects you to know everything. Just ask! This shit is easy to do if you just take the trouble to learn a few basics. Work with me for a while. Don’t try to go off on your own.”
But my brother needed to “go off on his own,” to have his own turf where he was the one who said yes or no, and where everyone respected him. He needed that more than he needed anything, and he meant to have it all at once.
But now, instead of feeling important and proud, he feels angry and embarrassed. I had to let him inflict those feelings on himself. I couldn’t let him begin to divide Acorn. More important—much more important—I couldn’t let him begin to divide Earthseed.
NINE
❏ ❏ ❏
From EARTHSEED: THE BOOKS OF THE LIVING
To make peace with others,
Make peace with yourself:
Shape God With generosity
And compassion.
Minimize harm.
Shield the weak.
Treasure the innocent.
Be true to the Destiny.
Forgive your enemies.
Forgive yourself.
MY MOTHER WAS QUITE open in her journal about the fact that she didn’t know what she was doing, and that this was a terrible frustration to her. She meant to make Earthseed a nationwide movement, but she had no idea how to do this. She seemed to have vague plans to someday send out Earthseed missionaries, to use Acorn as a kind of school for such missionaries. Perhaps this is what she would have done if she’d had the chance. It might even have worked. It’s worked for other cults. It might have gained her a larger following, more recognition.
But she didn’t want simple recognition. She wanted people to believe. She had a truth that she wanted to teach and an outer-space Destiny that she wanted taken seriously and someday fulfilled. And it’s obvious from her treatment of Uncle Marc that she was very territorial about the whole thing. I don’t know whether Uncle Marc ever realized how she set him up to fail and to make a bad first impression with her people. Such a simple, subtle thing. He imagined that she had done something much more obvious and complicated.
She didn’t fight people unless she was pretty sure she was going to win. When she wasn’t sure, she found ways to avoid fighting or go along with her opponents until they tripped themselves up or put themselves in a position for her to trip them up. Smart, I suppose—or treacherous, depending on your point of view.
She learned from everyone and everything.