words and write them down. I do not need to pay attention and I find myself wondering, what would it be like, to stand guard outside the palace or to work at one’s own trade and lie down in one’s own bed at night with nothing more to worry about but tomorrow’s labour? All my life I have written other men’s words, made permanent their thoughts.
I began by copying the Maxims of Ptah-hotep, my namesake, and continued through the Story of Sinuhe, who was a man, and the Contendings of Horus and Set, who are Gods.
I have written down accounts of journeys and ventures, of wars and conquests. I have written endless lists of grave goods and marriage contracts and all manner of documents by which men regulate their lives and record their words, and I have done nothing at all for myself.
I have married no wife, begotten no children, though I am fourteen years old and a man, with a man’s seed to give. I have built nothing, made nothing, repaired nothing, created nothing. If I was to write the inscription for my own tomb now, I could say nothing but ‘Ptah-hotep knew all words and three scripts and wrote a clear hand’.
The blow from the master’s staff stings across my shoulders. He is standing over me, and he is angry. He must have spoken my name and gone unanswered.
‘Show me,’ he growls. I hand him my board and rub the weal which is forming across my back. He likes hurting, this Priest of Amen-Re. He has come here to give us instruction in the high script, which only priests use. I can see, turning in my place, the wet lip of the man who relishes pain and I blink hard, determined that he shall not see me weep and drink my tears for his pleasure.
I have written, I observe, most of the chapter of the inscription which he has been dictating. My characters are well formed and flowing and I assume that they are correct, for he drops the board back into my lap and says nothing else, only resumes the droning chant:
He assigned to me all that is with him, which the eye of his uraeus illuminates, all lands, all countries, every road, the circle of water Oceanos, they come to me in submission to my majesty: Son of Re, Amenhotep, Divine Ruler of Thebes, living forever, only vigilant one, begotten of the gods.’
The staff comes down hard on the shoulders of my friend Kheperren, and he gratifies the master’s taste for wailing, so he repeats the blow. I wince for him as I would not for myself.
Who will free me of this misery?
Freedom comes in unlikely guises, says the sage Ptah-hotep, and so it came to me. We were bathing in the sacred lake, washing ourselves free of impurity for the evening prayer. I sluiced cool water over my wounded back, still angry and resentful at my fate. The priests were at their meal, the masters were in their rooms with their wives, and for a little while there was no one watching us. My friend Kheperren embraced me in the water.
‘I hurt,’ he complained, and I stroked the raised weals on his smooth back.
‘I, too,’ I agreed.
‘I made three errors,’ he admitted. ‘But he hit me too hard.’
‘I made none and he still hit me,’ I replied. ‘Doubtless the monster Apophis will eat his heart in the end but this does not comfort me, brother.’
‘Hotep, can we run away?’
I swung him around so that we were facing one another, floating easily in the water, legs entwined. Re who is the sun was westering, but there was abundant light, spilling over the temple, making the stones glow like gold. Kheperren’s brow was wrinkled with thought. He had black hair and the smooth olive skin of the countryman, whereas I was pale, almost ivory, and my hair was tinted with the Theban copper. It was unfair that I, whose father was only a scribe because he had been a common soldier in the army, was as fair as one of the Royal House, and my heart’s brother was as dark as a peasant, though he was descended from the high priests of Amen-Re. I liked our contrast as we lay together, his thighs twined with mine.
‘We can’t run,’ I told him. ‘Remember when Yuya tried that. They caught him, beat him, and made him sit for a week with his legs tied together.’
‘I can’t bear it,’ Kheperren