I don’t want it to happen again?” His breaths were harsh and lips balled while he spoke. “You think it’s possible to put the genie back in the fuckin’ bottle now?”
Here he was again, saying cryptic things, using phrases that went over my head.
“What more can I say? What do you want me to do?”
I watched his pupils dilate, the chestnut in them widened. Then slowly, his face moved closer to mine, his mouth open and I knew what was next.
“Don’t,” I chirped.
“Why?”
My face squeezed. “Because you can’t.”
“I need to.” His lips were on mine.
Soft, moist breath hitting the inside of my mouth had my nipples tingling. That scared the shit out of me.
Ashton wasn’t getting it. “I can’t,” I tried again.
His head shifted away, but now he was frowning. “Why?”
I chewed my lip, eyes closed. “Let’s just drop it. It’s embarrassing,” left my watering mouth in a whisper.
“Tell me, McNabb.” That reference oddly made me feel stronger than my body said I was in the moment. It was what I preferred when it came to this subject. “You gonna try to tell me you’re not attracted to me after what you did on Frid—”
“I don’t know how. I’ve never…” After a few heavy breaths, I managed to open my eyes. I had to.
Ashton had shifted away even more. “How?”
I shrugged and rolled my eyes away. “How do you think?”
“I can’t think. Can’t even fathom how you can…” He pointed over his shoulder. “Do what you did, but can’t…kiss?”
Exhaling, I pushed off the wall. “It’s been a long day. I need to go.”
“Hold up.” His firm tone had me freezing with my shoulder to his chest.
Then his big, hot hand was at my chin, turning me into him where his lips met mine, soft and slowly. Sweet. He lay into me, warming me to his presence, something I always despised. I needed my space from people like I needed air to breathe. But with Ashton Spencer against me this close, smelling him wasn’t repulsive, no matter how hard my heart pounded in my chest. When his tongue brushed across my bottom lip, I felt his hand tremble. Then it pushed inside my mouth. My tongue felt like cement, heavy and unmoving.
This was Ashton Spencer, Aivery Cooper’s boyfriend. Why did this feel reckless? Muted recklessness. I couldn’t share this moment with anyone. Couldn’t be a normal girl and tell the world about my crush, or the first person who made me feel alive and not dirty.
“Let me taste you, Nabby-girl.” His demand was throaty, but trusting. “Taste me.”
When his lips pressed against mine again, I closed my eyes and let Ashton taste my tongue. His licked against mine softly, boldly. My knees buckled and he caught me at my lower back, holding me to his abdomen, he was so tall. I don’t know when I decided on it, but my tongue lifted and pushed against his. Ashton received it, licking it with the tip of his. He did it a few times before pulling out and kissing my lips. There was a pattern he created that I couldn’t follow because I was too damn curious about the feel of him.
“Slow down,” he groaned, chuckling.
I opened my eyes to find his were heavy and crinkled at the sides. Glancing around, I realized my body was leaned into his, and Ashton was propped against the table behind him on one hand. I stood straight, wiping my mouth.
“No. That was fine—you were fine.” He grabbed me again. “I just want you to slow down to enjoy it.” His hand was at the side of my face, making me feel…precious.
I didn’t know how I felt about that. I was tough, not tender.
“I—” I swallowed. “I did.”
“Then look at me.”
My head lifted and I looked him in his eyes, and whispered too girlishly, “I am.”
“Good.”
He kissed me again. He was inside my mouth sooner this time, and no matter how much I hated feeling so desperate, I met his tongue, wanting to swallow it whole. Ashton began sucking on my tongue. Sucking so softly, but with a pace and intensity of someone with experience. The throb between my legs grew so strong, I stood on my toes and squeezed my thighs together.
Then I was flat on my feet again. And again, Ashton chuckled softly. “Did you like that?” My eyes fell and I nodded. “I don’t want to make you uncomfortable or do anything you don’t want to do. Okay?”