either panicked or angry. He took me at the chin again. “Talk to me.”
I rubbed my lips together, not recognizing myself tonight. With him. “Do you believe me now?”
“About not knowing how to kiss?” My head bobbed. He snorted, “Yeah.”
I nodded again, knowing I should have felt slighted, but didn’t. This was Ashton. Even when he wanted to be rude, he never did it in a way that made me feel unseen.
“Can I try that on you?”
“What?”
“What you just did to my tongue.”
He growled, pushing me against the wall. “The fuck’re you doing to me?”
Then his lips were on mine, tongue against my own. I captured it, allowed him to feed me inches before I was able to grip and suck on it. Taking the lead excited me, made me feel bold and in control. Ashton grabbed my ass, pulling me into him more as he massaged it. I felt his dick grow in his jeans, against my belly. And I liked it.
Who was I? When did this become something I was okay with? I was equally scared and, I thought, horny. I wasn’t too sure; I’d never felt this way before. Every place he touched me, I felt…good, and the places he did not were lonely. But this wasn’t right. It couldn’t be. It felt too good. And Ashton had a girlfriend.
This time, I pulled back. Wiping my mouth, I turned away from him and went for my book bag.
“Tori…” Ashton looked frustrated, but he didn’t stop me this time. He roughly raked his fingers from his head, down to his face as he groaned. “Did I do something wrong?”
“Aivery,” was my one-word answer.
Our muted truth.
He nodded, licking his lips, eyes in the corner of the room. I wanted to save him with nice words or assure him we were still cool, but nothing came to mind.
The door opened and a guy with the worst case of acne pushed inside. His eyes swung between Ashton and me, confused. “I’m a few minutes early, but I thought…”
Exhaling, Ashton moved toward his chair. “Nah, Roger. You’re good.”
Ewwww…
The Roger guy reeked something terrible. I was happy to leave.
“Tori,” Ashton called me. I turned, just out of the doorjamb. “I’m sorry.”
His apology wasn’t in his words or tone. It was in his eyes as the Roger guy dug through his bookbag. I appreciated Ashton’s kind words, but I had none to return, so I left.
“And my last point to you!” Coach Green shouted to our kneeling bodies out on the field. “Remember, American football is an alpha man’s game. I don’t give a fuck about your personality placement off this field, but when you put on that uniform and take to the green, wearing these helmets, you’re a fuckin’ alpha man. You dominate. Your thoughts are solely on implementing instructions and waiting for that window of opportunity, when something goes out of sequence and we must defend our play or advance ourselves on the field.” He peered into all of us as the coordinators and trainers stood behind him.
The sweat dripping from my head, thanks to intense plays during practice tonight, had dried up. My heart had resumed its resting rate, and my mind was locked onto my leader.
“Fuck getting lost in the moment!” he continued. “When you’re on this field, you dominate from first quarter to last. Know the plays, yes! But adopt the mindset of the fuckin’ Panthers. Even before I became head coach, this team’s spirit was alpha males. Remember, passivity is equivalent to pussy. And if that’s the type of day you’re having when we play, you don’t belong here. We’ve got a solid month left of the season, and I know you can do it.” He scoffed, “Shit. We all know what you’re made of, which is why you’re here and in the roles you’re in. We’re a solid team, and one who dominates the game of football.”
Coach blew the whistle, then began walking the huddle. “I’m not just a man,” he declared forcefully.
Our response came next. “I am a Panther!”
He continued, “My ancestors weren’t just resilient.”
“They were warriors!”
“I will never be average.”
“I’m superior!” we barked.
Then we finished together on a mighty shout, “And tomorrow, we will remind the world!”
We were dismissed, and I had a one-track mind to hit the showers. Enduring jokes and mundane short conversations, I was able to wash, dress, and skate out of the locker room without company. I pulled the envelope out of my locker and stuffed it in my back pocket