minutes, but those ten minutes were enough for me to lose my nerve.”
Hug him, Sebastion mouthed at Luca who looked hesitant because they had talked about this, but Sebastion couldn’t stand the look on Xan’s face any longer.
“Alexander,” he said, and the younger man looked up at him, “it takes courage to leave at all. But it also takes a support system that a lot of people don’t have.”
“Like you,” Xan asked very quietly.
Sebastion stared down at his hands and nodded. “It took me twice as long as it took you. I stumbled and fell back into his orbit more times than I ever want to think about. But it doesn’t matter how long you stayed or how many times you went back. You’re out now. And you’re not stupid.”
“And I’d like to hug you,” Luca cut in finally.
Sebastion let out a breath of relief as the younger man nodded and let himself be enveloped in those huge, comforting, perfect arms. It dragged on and on, and it was Xan who finally broke the hold, casting Sebastion a guilty look that he immediately waved off.
“Do you want another one? Mine aren’t as good as Luca’s, but…”
Xan was against him instantly, his face buried in the side of Sebastion’s neck. “I really like your hugs, Dee,” he murmured.
The stupid chat name that Luca had picked out for him while he was wasted on red wine crawled under his skin and settled there like an almost I Love You. And he held on to it as tight as he held on to Xan.
He glanced over at Luca, who was staring at him with something dark in his eyes—almost angry, though he didn’t think it was because of the hug. He wanted to ask, but he knew it wasn’t the time. Eventually, Xan eased back and rubbed the back of his neck, looking almost embarrassed.
“Do you mind if I jump in the shower?”
Sebastion heard it for what it was—a need for space without going too far. He shifted over so Xan could climb off the bed, then he settled back in the warm spot the younger man had left and determinedly did not look over at his husband.
“Also, please don’t wait for me to eat,” Xan said. “I’m trying, but I’m just not hungry.”
Luca sighed, and his voice was subdued as he waved him off. “Don’t worry about us. Go get clean.”
Xan glanced at him once more before he disappeared behind the bathroom door, and after a second, the water started. A tense moment settled over them, then Sebastion dared a look over and found Luca still staring at him with the heavy intensity of before.
“What did I do?” he asked.
Luca cleared his throat, then glanced away before he spoke. “It’s been a long fucking time since you’ve done that, Bas.”
He blinked in confusion. “Hugged someone?”
“Acted like you’re a consolation instead of the fucking prize,” he said. And oh, he understood the tone in Luca’s voice and the look in his eyes now. It was years of hard work and patience and left-over frustration, because it had taken Sebastion a long goddamn time to stop referring to himself as broken after Rhys.
“I’m not saying I’m not good enough,” he eventually said. “Just that you’re better at all this than I am.”
“You know that’s not true,” Luca said. He started cleaning up the food, and Sebastion knew it was mostly to keep himself occupied. He packed everything neatly in the bag, then dropped it onto the floor before reaching out his big hands and yanking Sebastion close.
“Careful of your arm,” Sebastion gasped.
Luca rolled his eyes as he pushed fingers into his hair and held him tight that way. “I don’t give a fuck about a little pain. You just…god, you still have no idea, do you?”
Sebastion blinked at him, feeling something hot building in his gut, his heart thrashing against his ribs. “About what?”
“How perfect you are.” Luca’s hand moved to his face, thumb grazing the side of his mouth. “How addictive you are. Watching him watch you, babe…watching that look in his eyes as he falls for you…” Luca shook his head and leaned in, lips brushing his as he spoke again, “I remember that look. I remember what it was like to stand in front of this man I wanted so badly it physically hurt. And I remember the feeling the first time you held me, and after all these years, I have never gotten tired of it.”